55. Rakan Sebilik Tidak Rasmi

Gambar tahun 1996 di Auditorium Matrikulasi UIA Lembah Pantai. 

Pagi itu selepas solat Subuh, Mazha bersiap -siap hendak keluar.

Saya tanya dia nak pergi mana pagi-pagi? Mazha jawab nak pergi HKL tengok ayah dia. Saya cakap nak ikut. Dia jawab jomlah.

Perasaan ingin tahu saya membuatkan saya bertanya kenapa ayahnya dimasukkan ke hospital di KL yang jauh dari tempat keluarganya menginap. 

Mazha beritahu saya, ayahnya berada di Kuala Lumpur  untuk menjalani rawatan di HKL. 

Ayahnya, berada di wad menjalani rawatan tapi saya tak pasti rawatan apa. Chemotherapy rasa saya. 

Saya bersimpati dengan keadaan ayahnya.

Beberapa kali saya ikut Mazha ke hospital menziarahi ayahnya. Saya seronok temankan ayah dia.

Keluarga Mazha bergilir  gilir menjaga ayah Mazha di hospital. 

Kadang-kadang ada waktu Ayah Mazha tiada pelawat kerana jarak rumahnya yang terletak di negeri yang berlainan. 

Kalau Mazha sibuk dan ada kelas tak sempat melawat ayahnya di hospital, saya pergi sendiri seorang diri temankan ayah dia di hospital.

Sekurang kurangnya Ayah Mazha ada pelawat jadi tak  adalah beliau rasa kesunyian di wad tersebut.

Saya melayan ayahnya berbual -bual walaupun kesihatan dan pertuturan ayahnya terbatas. 

Saya banyak menghabiskan masa di hosputal.  Ketika  itu,  saya sudah tawar hati dan hilang tumpuan untuk meneruskan pengajian saya.  Semester berikutnya akan ke main campus PJ. 

Ayahnya dan saya berbual  tentang pelbagai perkara. dan saya  turut mendengar kisah ayahnya.  Kadang-kadang kami  hanya berdiam diri sambil Ayah Mazha  memegang dan menggengam tangan saya sehingga  dia tertidur. Saya biarkan saja tangan saya digenggam oleh ayahnya ketika beliau lena tidur.  Penat agaknya selepas rawatan kimoterapi. 

Saya tahu saya bukanlah anak atau ada pertalian darah dengan ayah Mazha tetapi saya bersimpati melihat  keadaan ayahnya.  

Kerana kerap melawat ayahnya di hospital,  kami menjadi semakin rapat.  Kadang-kala ketika di kampus saya teringat ayah Mazha dan tertanya-tanya apa khabar Pakcik hari itu. 

 Saya tidak lupa juga bawakan buah tangan untuk Pakcik.  Selalunya saya bawakan buah-buahan tetapi ayah Mazha  semakin merosot dan sukar untuk menelan. 

Ketika saya berada di bilik A304 asrama penginapan saya pada petang itu, saya telah dikhabarkan yang ayah Mazha telah meninggal dunia, saya terduduk,  berasa sedih dan terkejut. 

Mazha telah membawa jenazah ayahnya pulang untuk dikebumikan di kampung halamannya. 

Pagi esoknya, teman sebilik saya semua bercadang mahu menghadiri majlis pengebumian ayah Mazha.

Saya tidak ingat siapa di antara teman sebilik saya yang pergi ketika itu untuk nenziarah jenazah.

Kalau tak silap , seingat saya, yang pergi melawat selain saya adalah Hasrul, Rosly, Idahar dan seorang lagi saya tak ingat.  kami pergi menaiki teksi ke kampung Mazha. 

Sampai sahaja di perkarangan rumah, ramai dah orang yang datang menziarah keluarga Mazha. 

Apabila Mazha nampak kelibat kami di muka pintu, dia menyambut kedatangan kami dan memeluk saya dan saya ucapkan takziah kepadanya.

Matanya merah dan berkaca. Lepas tu Mazha, tinggalkan kami untuk menguruskan jenazah ayahnya.

Saya duduk di lantai di sebuah ruang di dalam rumah tersebut.

Selepas mengkafankan jenazah, Mazha datang pada saya mempelawa saya memberikan penghormatan terakhir untuk arwah ayahnya. 

Pada mulanya saya keberatan menerima pelawaannya dan saya menolak  di atas alasan saya bukan ahli keluarga,  tetapi Mazha  masih mahu saya menatap wajah Ayahbya buat kali terakhir. 

Demi menghormati pelawaan dan permintaan Mazha, saya ikut dia ke ruang tamu yang mana jenazah ayahbya sudah siap dikafankan. 

Saya renung wajah arwah seketika dan cium dahi arwah mengucapkan selamat tinggal.

Al Fatihah untuk Arwah Ayah Mazha. 

Mazha kemudiannya melanjutkan pengajian nya tahun pertamanya di dalam bidang Pengajian Islam. Saya pula terkandas akibat tidak lulus Bahasa Arab peringkat 3.

Saya kemudiannya mengambil keputusan untuk berhenti belajar di universiti berkenaan. 

Sejak itu saya terputus hubungan dengan Mazha sehingga saya melanjutkan pelajaran ke Australia. 

Lebih kurang dua tahun setelah berada di Australia,  saya pulang ke tanahair.  Saya  terus berusaha mencari Mazha, sahabat saya yang telah terputus hubungan.

Ketika itu, Saya mendapat perkhabaran yang  Mazha telah menjad  seorang Ustaz dan mengajar di sebuah sekolah di Sarawak. 

Tidak lama selepas saya bekerja,  saya telah dihantar ke Kuching,  Sarawak untuk satu tugasan. Ketika itu saya telah mendapat nombor telefon Mazha dan saya menghubungi beliau. Seronok saya dapat berbual dengan teman lama saya setelah enam tahun kami tidak bersua dan berhubungan. 

Ketika di Sarawak,  saya tidak dapat bertemu dengan Mazha kerana beliau berada di kawasan pedalaman kerana mengajar. 

Jarak lokasi Mazha dari tempat saya di Kuching kira-kira 150 km jauhnya.  Mungkin tidak ada rezeki untuk saya bertemu dengannya.

2010 - Empat tahun selepas saya pergi Sarawak,  akhirnya, penghujung tahun 2010, saya ada  bertemu dengan kawan saya itu.  Kami berbual untuk sejam dua sebelum saya bertolak balik ke Kuala Lumpur. 

2018 - Mazha turun ke Kuala Lumpur menziarahi saya.  Selepas subuh,  Mazha menghantar mesej kepada saya memberitahu yang dia sedang bertolak menuju ke Kuala Lumpur. 

Saya sekeluarga berbesar hati menerima kedatangan Mazha.  Keluarga sudah sedia maklum tentang persahabatan kami sejuk Matrik UIA. 

Beberapa juadah untyk sarapan dimasak oleh pembantu rumah. 

Saya tidak dapat melupakan insiden sesak nafas saya di UIA Lembah Pantai yang hampir meragut nyawa saya. Walaupun  tindakan pantas Mazha mencari inhaler di seluruh SDAF tidak berhasil tetapi beliau telah memanggil kenderaan perubatan dari main campus datang untuk hantar saya ke pusat rawatan di UIA kampus PJ tengah malam itu telah menyelamatkan keadaan. 

Setibanya di rumah saya,  beliau siap membawa tempoyak ikan Patin yang terkenal di Pahang untuk saya sekeluarga. Beliau cuba mencari sambal Pahang pada malam sebelumnya tetapi sambal tersebut kehabisan stok.

Dari tahun 1995 sehingga ke hari ini di tahun 2020. Terima kasih Ustaz Haji Mazha di atas persahabatan yang terjaln.

#coretanfuzzfadhilah

54. Asam Pedas Perth

Minggu kedua di Perth,  saya sudah mula rindukan masakan Melayu sebab tak larat asyik makan fish and chips saja. 

Jadi, saya pun pergi ke bandar Perth dan makan di restoran yang menyajikan makanan Melayu. 

Saya order nasi putih dan masak asam pedas ikan tengiri.  Ikan tenggirinya ada seketul bersaiz sederhana. 

Bila sampai bil, rasa nak tersedak saya.  Harganya AUD30. 

Betapa terkilannya saya sebagai seorang pelajar dikenakan caj sebegitu. 

Itu first and last saya makan kat situ. Beberapa bulan kemudian,  apabila Biduanita  Sharifah Aini mengajak saya makan  malam di restoran Melayu,  saya jadi fobia.  Saya menolak pelawaan beliau secara baik dan saya terus pulang ke kampus. 

😂😂😂 Dan  itu juga first and last saya beli  atau makan makanan Melayu di luar kecuali kawan kawan saya masak. 

(It was nice of Alma,  Nora and Tunku  Putri to cook for me and invited me to have dinner with them outside on the lawn of their flat like a little picnic)

Pernah juga  sekali saya makan di sebuah restoran berkonsepkan kedai Mamak

Harga roti canainya AUD 5.00 sekeping dan Teh Tarik gelas kecil berharga AUD3.00.

Selepas itu,  tak pergi dah. Sayang duit... 

Lebih murah dan lebih menyenyangkan makan fish and chips. 

Kadang-kadang saya makan sushi di restoran Taka seperti   di dalam gambar ini sebab pada waktu waktu tertentu,  dia ada offer harga sushi yang murah so bolehlah jimat sikit.

Ada kala,  saya bersama teman- teman satu universiti ke Fremantle,  sebuah bandar pelabuhan tidak jauh dari kampus universiti.  Kami ke Fremantle untuk menjamu selera. 

53. Victorian Personalities

Wah..!  What an honour to be listed as one of Victorian Personalities under the Mass Media category, alongside with my former Boss,  the late Encik Zukiman,  RTM TV personality,  Dato Harjit Singh,  Wan Zaleha Radzi and the late Dato Mahadzir Lokman. 

Thank you,  although I am a freelance blogger nowadays, writing about my life living with ALS/MND as well as sharing about my past and my family history.

52. Of Regal Manners and Bishop's Nose

Of Regal Manners and Bishop's Nose

25.10.2020 - My Father's Birtday

I had never seen my father argued nor raised his voice to his mother who is my grandmother.

If my grandmother had issues that she was not pleased with my father, they always had discussions with diplomacy to solve anything.

Although we  were not rich nor  were we poor at that time but my father  had a regal manner and bearing. So did my grandmother, a soft spoken  yet a strong woman and a respectful lady. 

.

I wish  I had inherited their regal manners or ar least his beautiful cursive handwriting  but unfortunately I  am lacking of both.

In contrast, I am outspoken and impatient. I do not remember how I became outspoken but I remember when I was a child in 1984,  I went to my Uncle's house to see my cousins.

I was at the back compound of my Uncle's house where my uncle's neighbour was cooking in her kitchen next door to my Uncle's house. I still remember her name, Aunty Jamaliah.

Aunty Jamaliah was preparing lunch for her chidren. She saw me and invited me to her kitchen. I went to her kitchen where she was frying something in the pan.

She offered me the thing that she fried and  I took a few pieces

After I had eaten them, I asked Aunty Jamaliah for more without asking what they were.

 Once I finished the second serving, I asked her what were they? She said  they were Sultan's Nose.(some call it Bishop's Nose). Sound  royalty and regal isnt it? Wait until yiou find the meaning in Bahasa. That could be one of the factors I became outspoken.

I  may have also  been influenced by Hollywood movies  and American tv shows back then where the show somehow had encouraged me to be independent, to speak my mind and I became stubborn too.

There're pros and cons in all that.

Also one of the reasons why my grandmother was not pleased with me  spending most of my time watching American tv series.

Although I was naughty when I was a child my father had never yelled at me.

My father was a very patient man. He was kind too.

I wish I was patient like my father. But I do not have the patience. Over the years, I learn to be patient.

Happy Birthday Ayah! He would have been 74 years old, today.

51. Moyang Saudara, Wan Chik

Gambar Moyang saudara saya  pada awal 1950an. 

Adik Moyang saya . Ibu saudara Nenek saya yang dipanggil Wan Chik. Nenek rapat dengan Wan Chik sebab Wan Chik dan Mak Besar memelihara dan membesarkan Nenek.  Mak Besar adalah panggilan untuk Nenda kepada Nenek saya. 

Gambar dirakam ketika beliau di luar negara memakai baju kebaya untuk menghadiri sebuah acara..

Ketika ini beliau baru tiba di destinasi beberapa hari sebelum acara bermula. 

Moyang saudara saya begitu juga dengan moyang saya gemar memakai baju kebaya atau berbaju kurung ketika menghadiri majlis,  tidak kira acara rasmi atau tidak rasmi. 

Perjalanan ke luar negara ketika itu tidak semudah hari ini. Walaupun sudah ada kapal terbang ketika itu tetapi industri penerbangan masih terhad.  Kapal pelayaran tetap menjadi pilihan popular ketika itu di awal 1950an. 

Dari Selangor menaiki keretapi ke Singapura kerana ketika itu kapal pelayaran  untuk ke Eropah hanya berlabuh di Pelabuhan Singapura. 

 Belayar dari Singapura mengambil masa 20 hari untuk ke destinasi di Eropah. 

Selesai acara,  beliau kembali ke tanahair dan mengambil masa another 20 days. 

Semasa saya kanak kanak, saya pernah berjumpa  moyang Wan Chik Mariam. 

 Beliau meninggal  dunia pada akhir tahun 80an. 

Tengku Idris Shah ( kini Sultan Sharafuddin)   turut mencemar duli menziarah jenazah arwah dan memberi penghormatan terakhir kepada moyang saudara saya. 

Al Fatihah.

#coretanfuzzfadhilah

50. Tok Ngah Mat Noor

My grand uncle Tok Ngah Fathir,  is the cousin of my late grandmother. 

My grandmother is the eldest child of her mother, Embut Maziah, the matriarch of Embut Maziah clan. 

Embut Maziah, my great grandmother  is also the eldest. Eldest  of six siblings.

Tok Ngah Mat Noor as he is fondly known among the famiy,  loves to keep in touch with all the family members including  extended family of Embut Maziah clan near and far. 

If  we invite Tok Ngah for any family event nor gatherings he would not let us down.

He would always be there.  He was at my father's funeral, 25 years ago,   also attended my grandmother's mother funeral 17 years ago  and very recently,  he helped to bring me to attend my Ucu Akmar's funeral,  my father's youngest sister/sibling 

It was Tok Ngah's initiative to draw the family- free for Embut Maziah and each of her siblings until the 6th generation of Embut Maziah clan

49.Today is Ucu's Birthday

17 December 2020, 

Today is Ucu's Birthday. 

She would have been 55 years old today but Ucu passed away three months ago on 

16 September 2020,  leaving behind a husband, two children and her elder sisters and a brother. 

Ucu is my father's youngest sibling. 

Although she's my Aunty but she's just 12 years older than me, 10 years older than Abang Long and 15 years older than Poji making her like our elder sister. 

1980s

When we were children,  my siblings were close to Ucu.  After her SPM, while waiting for the result,  she stayed home with my grandmother and my grandfather, helping them with house chores,  cooking and were looking after us, the three siblings. 

She taught us to play chess,  mastermind,  congkak,  tengteng and we would lay badminton  with her too in the compound of my grandparents'home. 

 In 1990, Ucu sent me to Victoria Institution on my first day at V. I.

In 1992, Ucu and her husband Pak Usu,  would fetched me and Alang after we landed  at the Subang Airport from our frequent flights to Kuala Terengganu at that time. 

One afternoon,  after school, on my way to Kotaraya to take the bus heading home,  I bumped into Acik and Ucu at Jalan Sultan and they invited me to join them for lunch at the KFC opposite the Rex cinema. 

In January 1995, she and her husband,  my Pak Usu fetched me after I attended VI'94 Prom Night..

On 19th July 1995, when I was at the Matriculation Centre of UIA,  she came to the hostel after Maghrib to inform me of my father's sudden death. We cried in front  of my room and she hugged me. Then,  brought me to my grandna's home that night where my father's jenazah was at. 

In 1996, Ucu and my Nenek sent me to Subang Airport  for my small Hajj to Mecca. 

On my Birthday that same year,  Ucu gave me a blue Shaeffer pen in a red box with a small card wishing me Happy Birthday.  I still keep the pen with the box and the card from 1996 until today. More than 24 years.

In 1997, when I was doing my A-Level at Taylor's College,  I was staying with her at her home near SJMC.  It was a walking distance from her home to Taylor's College to attend my classes.

 March 2003, a month after I arrived in Perth,  I received a letter from Ucu saying hi and to ask how I settled in Perth. I still keep her letters. 

June 2003, in the evening,  I received a phone call from Ucu telling me that my grandmother was very ill.  I flew home the next morning. 

Now, in 2020, Ucu is no longer with us.  Now,  only the memories of her lives on. 

Happy Birthday Ucu...! 

And Al Fatihah

PS:.The next morning on September 17 2020, My grand uncle Tok Ngah,  fetched me from The Home to attend Ucu's funeral.  Thank you Tok Ngah. 

48.Kai Tak Airport

In 1997, on the last Saturday of June, I flew out of Malaysia but I do not remember either through Subang Airport or KLIA but it think it was in Subang because KLIA had not opened yet in 1997.

 My last memory of Subang Airport was the previous year 1996 when my late Grandma and my late Ucu sent me to Subang Airport.

 But I remember very well when I arrived in Hong Kong. At that time Kai Tak Airport still existed and was still operating.

 The view of the sea gradually disappearing as the flight I boarded approached Hong Kong, an island densely packed with concrete buildings. 

To me, Kai Tak Airport was very unique because of its location in the heart of Hong Kong.  The plane hovered in space before landing.  There are a lot of skyscrapers and high-rise residential blocks.

 The situation before landing was very exciting and also thrilling.

 It was thrilling for me when the low-flying plane with its body position slides to the  left and to the right through blocks of flats in the heart of downtown Hong Kong

 From the window of the plane, I could see the occupants of the flat building.  It was indeed very close between the position of the aircraft and  the residential blocks. 

 I could clearly see there was a family watching tv in their living room,

 As the plane flew in between the building blocks, in another unit, I could see the kitchen where a woman was cooking.

There was a young man hanging clothes on the back balcony, In the next unit, there was a child on the front balcony waving his hand towards the plane I was boarding.  I waved back.  I was not sure if the child could see my wave or not.

 After a few minutes the plane hovered in the Hong Kong metropolitan space,  I saw the runway at  Kai Tak Airport and we were ready to land.

 The handover of Hong Kong from the United Kingdom to the People's Republic of China took place on July 1, 1997. This event marked the end of British rule in Hong Kong and the surrender of Hong Kong sovereignty back to Chinese rule. After that Hong Kong became a Special Administrative Region under Chinese rule.

Very exciting experience when I went to Hong Kong and landed at Kai Tak Airport, Hong Kong.

 Now, Chek Lap Kok Airport replaces Kai Tak Airport.  Located in a man-made island on the outskirts of metropolitan Hong Kong.

 It takes 40 minutes by express train halfway through the ocean to reach the city.  The train also stops at Hong Kong Disneyland.

In those days,  it only took me 5 minutes from Kai Tak Airport to the city centre with a taxi. 

Today,  it has been 11 years since I boarded an aeroplane. 

12 years since I had ALS.

47. Mama Sherry

Dullu dulu,. Beliau adalah penyanyi termasyhur di Malaysia. Semua peringkat umur dan segenap lapisan masyarakat mengenali beliau. 

Gambar Dato Sharifah Aini  Gambar kanan pada tahun 1986.

Kisahnya... 

Musim luruh 2003 - Fremantle Indoor market.

Sedang kami berjalan dari satu gerai ke satu gerai di dalam pasar tertutup itu,  saya ternampak kelibat Sharifah Aini ,di kalangan warga Australia yang berbangsa kulit putih di pasar tertutup tersebut.

"Mana mungkin beliau berada di sini dan apa yang buat beliau berada di sini," detik hati kecil saya.

Saya terdengar perbualan dan gelak seakan suara Sharifah Aini.

Saya terserempak dengan beliau, kali ini hanya beberapa meter beliau berjalan  dari saya sambil berbual mesra dan gelak bersama anaknya. Alif Omar.

"Oh My God, it is her", terpacul ayat saya kepada rakan saya.

"Who is it?", tanya kawan-kawan saya. orang Indonesia dan seorang bangsa Australia. 

"Sharifah Aini',  jawab saya. 

"The Sharifah Aini? The living lagend? The one that her song you always pla in my car? " tanya Mark.

"Yes. Maybe this is her private moment vacationing with her son and we could be invading her privacy," kata saya.

"Just say hello, she must be proud to have a fan saying hello to her thousands miles from home," sampuk Darwin. 

Kami menghampiri mekap artis yang turut bersiar-siar bersama beliau. Seorang bernama Rose Suci dan lagi seorang nama Dicky. 

"Kakak, saya dari Malaysia. Itu  Sharifah Aini, kan?", tanya saya.

"Ya", jawabnya ringkas.

"Boleh ke kami nak tegur  dia? Boleh ke akak bagi tau beliau ada peminat dari Malaysia nak autograph?", tanya saya lagi.

"Tegur je lah dia bukan makan orang pun", kata jurusolek itu.

Kami memperkenalkan diri. Saya sedikit gementar sebab tak pernah bersua depan depan apa tah lagi berbual bual dengan seorang yang sangat terkenal di Malaysia.

Masha Allah.  Baik dan peramahnya Sharifah  Aini mudah mesra dan penuh sifat keibuan, kata saya di dalam hati. 

Setelah berbual seketika.

Beliau meminta saya dan kawan saya menemani beliau dan anak bersama bersiar-siar. 

Sharifah Aini memberitahu,  beliau menyertai  rombongan produksi rakaman untuk sebuah rancangan hiburan untuk siaran hari raya.

Kami pun join lah Sharifah Aini dan rombongan beliau. 

Rupanya ramai lagi artis lain masa tu.  Ada Amy Mastura,  Ezlyeen,  Jeslina Hashim,  dan beberapa orang artis lagi yang saya tak ingat siapa. 

Azwan Ali pun ada masa itu. 

Kami sempat bergambar bersama di sekitar bandar Perth. Sharifah Aini mempelaawa kami menyertai rakaman hari Raya keesokkan harinya.

Setelah puas bersiar siar bersama, kami minta izin untuk pulang. 

Sharifah Aini menjemput kami bertiga makan malam bersama  beliau di sebuah restoran tetapi kami menolak dengan baik pelawaan beliau.  Ada sebab kenapa. 

Keesokan harinya. 

Kami memandu ke sebuah kawasan kejiranan di Perth. Ketika kami tiba di 

Di  kawasan tersebut,  beratus ratus warga Melayu yang menetap di Perth telah sedia menanti di perkarangan Masjid. Kelihatan sebuah bas tiba dan turunlah artis artis Amy Mastura, Jeslina Hashim, dan beberapa artis lain. Keadaan tenang, ada peminat yang bersalaman dengan artis. Ada yang berbual sesama mereka tanpa menghiraukan kedatangan artis.

Tidak lama selepas itu, muncul sebuah  kereta Mercedes Benz hitam, dan keluarlah Sharifah Aini. 

Ketika itu keadaan menjadi tidak terkawal. Semua yang hadir menjerit jerit memanggil Sharifah Aini. Sungguh hingar bingar keadaaan dengan jerit pekik yang teruja melihat kedatangan Sharifah Aini ke Perth.. Artis artis lain mereka tidak hiraukan kerana tumpuan kini adalah sepenuhnya kepada Sharifah Aini.

Ketika itu saya rasa sangat kagum. Betapa besarnya nama Sharifah Aini apabila semua orang yang berada di kawasan itu berteriak memanggil nama beliau, berebut rebut mahu bersalaman dengan beliau. Setelah keadaan reda, mereka sabar beratur untuk sesi autograph, ada yang membawa cd, kaset, poster. Majalah yang ada gambar Sharifah Aini. Ada yang bergambar bersama beliau. Ada yang menitiskan airmata dan menangis teresak esak bertemu beliau sehingga Sharifah Aini sendiri memujuk dan mententeramkan sesetengah mereka. 

Saya saksikan keadaan ini kerana saya duduk bersebelahan dengan Sharifah Aini ketika sesi bertemu peminat berlangsung.

Sebelum berakhir sesi berkenaan, Sharifah Aini sempat berpesan supaya peminat peminatnya mendoakan kesejahteraan beliau.

Kami kept in touch melalui emel sehingga saya pulang ke tanah air pada akhir tahun 2004. Saya dijadikan anak angkat kepada Mama Sherry.  Panggilan saya kepada Dato Sharifah Aini Al-Attas. 

Rest In Peace Mama Sherry, May Allah grant Jannah to you on your good deeds. Al- Fatihah.

46.Kempen Bersama Fran

Pada hari ini,  sembilan tahun yang lalu,  saya dijemput oleh Francissca Peter untuk minum petang di coffee house di sebuah hotel terkemuka di K.L.

Itulah pertama kali saya berjumpa in person dengan penyanyi pujaan saya,  seorang  lagenda bersuara merdu

Fran ingin bertemu saya setelah saya menghubungi beliau melalui Facebook menceritakan tentang penyakit saya yang jarang masyarakat tahu. 

Saya meminta kerjasama Fran for my public awareness campaign on ALS at that time,.nine years ago. 

Setahun sebelum ini keadaan saya semakin merosot sehingga terpaksa menggunakan tongkat untuk bergerak setelah diserang penyakit ALS. 

Pada ketika itu sehingga awal tahun 2012, Fran dan saya kerap ke udara di saluran televisyen morning talk show membincangkan tentang penyakit ALS. 

Pujian harus saya berikan kepada Fran yang komited terhadap kempen kesedaran yang saya anjurkan. 

Fran sendiri telah membuat pelbagai homework tentang penyakit ALS sehingga beliau tidak kekok membicarakannya di hadapan kamera.  

She was well versed about my condition.

Gabungan mantap Francissca Peter dan Manan Ngah pernah mengungguli pentas Juara Lagu 1986 apabila mereka berjaya mendapat tempat pertama dan kedua menerusi lagu Sekadar di Pinggiran dan Aku Kehilangan Mu. 

Fran juga  mendapat tempat kedua untuk kategori persembahan terbaik. 

Baru-baru ini Fran mendapat Anugerah Pencapaian Sepanjang Hayat - ABPBH 2020.

Fran mendapat anugerah Penyanyi Paling Popular pada ABPBH yang pertama. 

Fran seorang yang baik dan pandai menghargai peminat beliau.  Terkejut saya apabila Fran dan Sister-Manager Bibiana Peter menghantar hamper dan kad ucapan Selamat Hari Lahir kepada saya.

#coretanfuzzfadhilah

45.Kisah di Matrikulasi 1996

Foto bersama sebahagian daripada rakan sekuliah saya pada tahun 1996 di tangga auditorium, Pusat Matrikulasi UIA,  Jalan Pantai Bharu,Kuala Lumpur. 

Foto pintu masuk utama ke bangunan kuliah dan pentadbiran.

Di Matrikullasi UIA,  saya ada kelas dengan seorang pensyarah.   Kelasnya selama sejam seminggu sekali. 
Saya dan roommate saya Rosly satu kelas masa itu.

Pensyarah kami seorang yang tegas.
Air mukanya garang dan membuatkan pelajar gerun.

Kelas  diadakan pada  setiap hari Isnin pada waktu pagi tapi saya tak ingat pukul berapa.
Tiada siapa yang berani berbual-bual atau main-main di dalam kelas beliau.
Kami hanya bersuara apabila disoal.

Pada hari minggu itu,  tak ingat bulan berapa tetapi dalam tahun 1996 tiba-tiba terpampang gambar pensyarah kami di dada-dada akhbar utama seperti Mingguan Malaysia dan Berita Minggu. 
Front Page! Gambar  beliau sedang menikahkan anak beliau,  seorang penyanyi terkenal.
Gempar seluruh Matriks UIA terutama di hostel masa itu.

Tahun itu juga lagu penyanyi tersebut  tengah meletop letop dengan lagunya berirama catchy  dan menjadi siulan ramai dari kanak-kanak sehingga dewasa.

Esoknya ketika di dalam kelas, pensyarah kami masuk kelas macam biasa. Macam tiada apa yang berlaku. Mukanya serius dan kelas berlangsung seperti biasa
Walaupun pensyarah kami tahu yang beliau telah menjadi mashyur pagi semalamnya.
Tiada siapa pun di antara kami yang berani menanyakan beliau tentang berita semalam yang gempar dan sensasi.

#nostalgiafuzz

Sampai sekarang pun saya masih suka mendengar lagu tersebut.
Lagu rancak tetapi  kisahnya sedih.

oh...Tapi sayang
Hanyalah impian
Bulan tak bisa tumbuh ditaman
Dan bila mentari datang
Pulanglah segala kenyataan

Jika dunia
Aku yang punya
Akan kuhiaskan
Sepasang sayap
Putih dan berseri
Untukku kemudi

44. Zam and Shaini's Wedding

Last Friday, I was so excited to attend Zam and Shaini's wedding. After two years of courtship they were officially married on last Friday and  on the weekend they had a party. I attended both occasions. The solemnisation ceremony took place at As-Syikirin Mosque in Gombak.

To my surprise,  although the main entrance of the mosque has steps leading to the praying area but it also has ramps on both side of the entrance leading to the praying area and the corridor of the mosque.

It was easy for me as my friend's car was parked near the ramp and I was wheeled to the corridor, although there was a split level to the praying area but it was ok because the  ceremony took place near a corridor.

As i was wheeled to the area, the father of the bride gave signal to me and my friends to come as cloce as possible to the bride and groom. That was so nice of him. I coud see and hear clearly when the solemnisation of the vows took place.

On Sunday the wedding took place at a hall known as Dewan Tan Sri Mahfuz Khalid owned by the  Ministry of Works (Kementerian KerjaRaya).  The were more than 10 steps leading to the hall at the entrance. On both sides of the entrance there were ramps but both ramps were closed with bars. Apparently it was permanently closed to give ways for mini gardens on both sides of the entrance where it used to be ramps!

The family members of the bride and grooms had to carry my wheelchair through the steps and I had to slowly climbed the steps with the help of my friend and other guests.

But all in all I had fun at the wedding. I just wish that the ministry would not closed the ramps for non-useful purpose of mini gardens.

Congratulations to both Zam and Shai...Selamat Pengantin Baru, Semoga Kekal Hingga ke akhir Hayat.

43. Lessen Muscle Waste

I know that physiotheraphy would not get me back to be normal as before, to be active as before. It would not help me to climb ladder or hills but at least it could help to maintain the muscle strength of what is left of me.  It is highly effective for me to deal with my body and day to day chores in the correct way preventing it from causing more muscle waste.

What seem to be an easy task or used to be an easy task for me like standing up, pulling a rubber  band with hands from one end to the other now seem like  gigantic tasks for me. But I am embracing these shortcomings with an open heart. I want to live my life as full as possible.A  quality life despite my conditions.

These exercises wil help to maintain the strength on my muscles. My physio therapist,  Zana is very supportive in helping me coping with my the muscle strength that I should gain.  We would work on  exercises that would help me to maintain my balance. Sometimes it takes 20 minutes per session sometimes less than that but all in all I spent an hour at the hospital for my physiotheraphy and another hour for house hold chores theraphy.

Every week I would do my physio theraphy, and theraphy how to handle house chores and how to look after myself  and carry out my daily activities. Since I am staying on my own. It is very important to develop all these skills in order to maintain my independence.

42. Friday Prayer

After hearing how Ching Seong brought me to Putrajaya Mosque,  another friend of mine, Raizan offered to take me to the mosque today for Friday prayer. Coincidentally, he was on leave today.

I woke up getting excited to go to the mosque. It must have been three years since the last time I went to a mosque before I had Muscular Dystrophy. I put on my long white Middle Eastern costume which I bought during my visit to Mecca back in 1996. Surprisingly,  I could fit into the jubah as i called it. Not much difference between now and myself 16 years ago, only but on some weight and fat here and there especially on my tummy.

When we arrived at the mosque, not many people were there, Raizan parked his car near to the entrance of the prayer room. I came out of the car with my crutches and Raizan brought along a chair as I could not sit on the floor.

A few guys who attended the mosque  were staring at me and I did not feel comfortable, I told raizan about it and he told me to ignore them. he said we are here to visit Allah and to pray to him and not to take the stares seriously.

A man in his 40s sat nest to Raizan and started to ask him about me. he suggested that Raizan took me a nearby local healer and give it a try.

Sitting on the chair that we brought from home, I stood out from the rest who were sitting on the floor. I felt so much at ease when I prayed in the home of God and listening to the sermon. I hope this would not be my last visit to His home.

Thank You Raizan for taking me to the mosque today.

41. Time Spent with Ching Seong

I have been friends with Ching Seong for seven years now since his university days at London School of Economics in Britain. When he was studying, we hardly met except when he was back in KL we would hangout. We maintained our friendship through the social media.

Today, CS,  as I called him is a lawyer in Singapore. Whenever he comes back to KL we will  hang out. This week, with the labour day, he spent few days in KL.

He fetched me at home and looked around my apartment. I was a bit embarrassed as some parts of my apartment were messy, especially my store room. I do not have the strength to do heavy duty house chores. later, he took me out to Putarajaya to see the Putrajaya mosque, he wheeled me around the mosque before i entered the praying section to pray and while waiting for me to pray,  he had a conversation with Aunty Azizah, who is a volunteer at the mosque.

After we were done, i was struggling to put on my shoes, sitting next to me, CS bent down, took my feet and helped to put on my shoes. I was touched by his gestures. He has demonstrated the values of a true friendship.

After Putrajaya, we headed to Bangsar for dinner with his friend. While wheeling me around the mall, CS noticed that some of the shoppers  stared at us. He didn't like the situation and thought those people were rude. He said that would never happen in the UK. I told him I was immuned to the stares. The dinner was nice. I thanked him  for taking me out for dinner.

The next day, CS called and told me he was coming over to my place. To my surprise, he brought along his maid to clean my apartment. While Rika, his maid was doing the household chores,  me CS and his little sister went to my Aunt Nora's house for lunch. Both siblings liked the malay dishes cooked by Aunt Nora.  I also introduced them to Uncle Dean, my elder brother and his family were there too. It was like a small family gathering.

Thank You CS for spending time with me.

40. RM2 Charge for Disabled Toilet

Last night, January 22, 2012 I had dinner at one of the diners on the ground floor of Suria KLCC. At 8.3opm after I had dinner and wheeling to the car park, I felt the urge to go to the toilet and the nearest toilet was the premier toilet on the ground floor. 


When I wanted to use the toilet for  the disabled, the toilet was locked and when I asked the attendant behind the counter, she asked RM2 for me to use the toilet  for disabled people and for her to open the toilet.

And she told me if I did not want to pay RM2, I could always use toilet for the disabled on other floors for free of charge. The thing is, moving around on a wheelchair, it's not easy for me to go to other floors because I cant use the escalator and both lifts at the centre court are always packed with people and the long queu ( if you can call gather in front of the door lift a queu), just to enter the lift. 


The other lifts are located on the other side on the building thus by the time I want to use toilet for the disabled on other floors, I would have pee-d first in my pants just to get to the toilet.


I just renewed my ID Mykad and the NRD did not charge me RM10 fees, I even renewed my international passport for free and why do I need to pay RM2 to use the toilet for disabled person? Is there any special treatment with the RM2 fee? Will someone wash/wipe my ass with that fee? I reckon not.


This kind of absurdity is one of the causes that hinder many people with disability to go out to public spaces.

39. Disabled Parking Bays Hijacked at Pavilion KL

Yesterday,  my friend and I went to The Pavilion Kuala Lumpur to have lunch and to do some shopping. When we arrived at the parking, we were shocked that all the disabled parking bays allocated for the disabled person were hijacked by cars without the Disabled person card or sticker.

Then when we wanted to enter the Pavilion, the lowered curb for wheelchair was blocked by abled bodied car who selfishly parked their car right in front of the entrance  with no regard for the disabled people.

We took some photos and went to see some staff of the Pavilion management who were gathered at a point near the parking and I asked told them about my condition and even showed them my Disabled card. I asked them about what the action would be taken to those cars belong to the able-bodied motorists but to my horror they seemed uninterested and dismissive to my complaints. One of them told me they did not know what to do and asked me to find another disabled parking bays. 

Parking bays reserved for the disabled are being taken up by able-bodied motorists 

People who are not disabled should not be parking in disabled spaced. I think it's a disgrace that able bodied people, who frankly are just lazy, would use something specifically designed for those who need it more!

It is illegal for non-disabled people to park in disabled bays, unless of course a passenger in the car has disabilities and disability sticker or card issued by the Social Welfare Department Only people with disabilities allowed to park in disabled bays. Anyone else is breaking the law by parking there and can be fined and/or have their car towed. 

NO ACTION taken by The Pavilion Kuala Lumpur letting the able-bodied motorists keep abusing the disabled parking bays at Pavilion. This is sad that Pavilion is a world class shopping mall but poor in maintaining its standard pertaining basic rules and regulations.

Pavilion Kuala Lumpur should take action against able-bodied motorists. The car belong to non disabled people who parked at the disabled parking bays should be clamped and charged a large fee then they will think twice the next time before they steal someones disabled parking space.

Motorists could also be shamed by having the model and number plate of their car read out over the store’s tannoy system. 

As a premiere shopping mall in Asia, Pavilion Kuala Lumpur should be concern about disabled parking spaces and penalise those able-bodied drivers that incorrectly park in spaces allocated for the disabled.

It is no longer about meeting the building's minimum requirement standard but  today it is about good practise by the building's management. Pavilion Kuala Lumpur may have better facility for the disabled compared to other shopping mall but if they do not have standard management practice, it tainted their image. People have different needs and abilities, If people like me have no access to their building, we are locked out from the society.

I suggest the penalties need to be severe because the kind of person who would park in a disabled bay would laugh off a smaller fine.

Some good example of concern building management towards the needy are The Mines Shopping Centre and The Gardens Mid Valley. The security chained the lot and only to be open by request. Just give a short phone call to the security office, they'll come, release the chain, let us park our car and then they secure back the lot to ensure no one else take opportunity to park at the OKU lot.

In Alamanda Putrajaya, the parking security are very strict, ensuring shoppers never to abuse the OKU parking space. Without OKU car sticker or OKU JKM card on dashboard, it is a definite RM50 fine to be paid for being either ignorant or stupid."

38. Efficient NRD

When I was asked by the bank to renew my identity card due to malfunction of the chip on the card, I thought I would faced with another bureaucracy stupidity. I thought wrong,  This time dealing with the National Registration Department (NRD) was efficient.

The moment I arrived at the building, there was ramp to the lobby, easy access to the lift to the second  floor and by time I reached the counter, I didn't have to take any number to queu. I was ushered to a special counter for   the disabled.

There was no form to fill and the officer was friendly and efficient. Within five minutes everything was done and she passed me a receipt and asked me to come the next day to pick up my new identity card.

The next day, was the same, I  didn't have to take number. I just had to go to the special counter for the disabled and produced the receipt. Within 5 minutes, I received by new identity card. I guess being disabled person, has its perks.

37. Know My Limitations

We parked the car at novotel and walked to the aquaria to reach the tunel adjacent to suria klcc. As we went down the stairs. There were people sitting near the stairs, at the cafe and all eyes were set on me while I was going down the stairs with crutches. I was uneasy when people were staring at me.
Noticed my uneasiness Raizan told me that he was proud to walk with me because I waa a celebrity now because I was on TV days before and those people who were staring probably had seen me on TV. Well I was aware enough to recognise that he was trying to uplift my spirit. I just smiled at him.

The walk from Novotel to KLCC park was a good walk but I had to walk slowly and stop at uneven grounds by the roadside. There were many people thronged to KLCC to celebrate new year.
By the time we reached Aquaria to use the tunnel to get to Suria, I was exhausted. But still I pushed myself to walk to the tunnel and through the tunnel. I kept telling myself I could do this, I could walk to suria klcc. I could felt sweats running all over my back, my forehead and down on my face.

By the time we reached suria, khalid, Raizan's friend from Egypt was waiting for us. First thing first, I was really exhausted and needed to get a wheelchair to move around Suria. It was late evening when we got there and we had about 2 hous plus to use the wheelchair. I deposited RM50 and left my driving licence at the concierge counter. It was such a relief to sit on a wheelchair. Helped to ease the burden of walking around with crutches.

At almost 10pm we had to retun the wheelchair and I was back on crutches. The the exit near the Dome to the fountain was closed. There were massive crowd  at the fountain and there were big crowd  trapped at the exit. The suria security directed everyone to use the exit facing Jalan Ampang and walked around the twin tower to the park for the fireworks.

At first we thought of going back but Khaled who has walked first to go back to his hotel to leave his shopping stuff called Raizan and asked us to join him at the park. The walk from the Suria exit to the park (which for most people will take 10 minutes) took almost an hour for me as I had to rest for every 10 steps. By now, I feel really really exhausted.
We got ourselves a nice spot at the park facing a big screen on suria's wall. After the fireworks, we waited for the big crowd to disperse and left small crowds but endlessly were passing the park to go to the main road at Jalan Pinang.

Walking back to Novotel where we parked our car was  another challenge, Too many people walking by the roadside, I was having trouble to go through the crowd. We walked slowly and made stops whenever I could not walk due to exhaustion.
I continue to walk until I felt sharp pain on my right pelvis. It felt like the ligament or tissues were torn but I could still walk. I really pushed myself hard to walk to get to Novotel and get into the car. Finaly, we got into the car, and I was drenched with sweats and a painful pelvis.

Altough mentally and emotionally I thought I could fight it to walk a long distance.
 I thought wrong. I could tell my body to work harder and the body will work harder for me but it will cause other complications. I have to know my at what point or limit I could push my body and work around those limitations.