2 Mac 2011 (8.10 am) - Apabila Sham memberitahu aku bahawa Azrul telah meninggal dunia, aku kaget, tergamam dan terkejut. Masa kan Azrul yang masih muda dan sihat itu telah meninggal dunia. Aku tanyakan punca kematian Azrul tetapi Sham sendiri pun kurang pasti, itu pun ada orang lain yang mengkhabarkan padanya pagi itu.
Aku tidak puashati terus menelefon nombor Azrul mengharapkan Azrul yang menjawab dan menghentikan gurauan yang keterlaluan ini. Panggilan aku disambut oleh teman serumah Azrul dan dia memberitahu Azrul sudah tiada lagi dan dia telah menceritakan apa yang telah berlaku. So it is true that he has passed away.
November 2008 - aku masih ingat lagi apabila Azrul telah meminjamkan kereta yang baru beberapa bulan dibelinya bagi memudahkan aku untuk bergerak. Aku baru saja menjual kereta ku untuk membeli kereta baru tetapi terpaksa menunggu selama 4 bulan untuk menerima kereta baru kerana tempahan yang terlalu tinggi terhadap model kereta tersebut.
Aku amat berterima kasih dengan Azrul. Tak perlu lah aku bersusah payah turun naik teksi berulang alik dari rumah ke pejabat. Nak naik bas or LRT rasenya dah berzaman aku tak berbuat demikian.
Januari 2009 - banyak pihak yang dapat tahu Azrul meminjamkan keretanya pada aku dan dia sanggup menunggang motosikal ke pejabat. Aku mula terdengar cerita-cerita yang kurang enak pasal Azrul.
1 Februari 2009 - Aku pulangkan keretanya dan mula menjauhkan diri daripada Azrul tanpa memberitahu sebabnya. Itu merupakan kali terakhir aku berjumpa dengan Azrul.
2 Januari 2011 - Entah mengapa aku teringat akan Azrul. Aku mula menghubungi Azrul untuk bertanyakan khabar. Dengan kondisi ku yang tidak berapa sihat elok rasanya aku mengnautkan kembali persahabatan kami yang terputus begitu saja. Mujur dia masih menggunakan nombor yang sama. Kami berbual dan aku minta maaf atas perbuatan aku dan kami saling bermaafan. Sejak hari tu kami ada juga bertukar-tukat mesej berteks.
5 Januari 2011 - Ada juga beberapa kali kami ajak lepak sama tetapi Azrul menolak kerana kurang sihat. Katanya sakit kepalanya kian menjadi-jadi sejak kebelakangan ini. Malaha pada hari berkenaan di cuti sakit. Aku suruh dia berehat je, banyak masa lagi bole lepak sama, kata ku padanya.
12 Januari 2011 - Azrul menelefon dan kami berbual, I could sensed there was something he wanted to ask, He wanted to know why did I distance myself from him and cut off the friendship. I told him about what I have heard about him and I did not want him to have bad influences on me.
He told me that he was always misunderstood. He said deserved to clear his name and he should be given a chance. Most of the time he was not given a chance by many including me.
I said …at that time, the hearsay about him was more than enough for me to judge him and he should own up to it. He was silent and I knew he was devastated with my explanation. I apologized to him of being harsh.
Who am I to judge him? And to judge him base on what others have told me? That was totally unacceptable! How could I do that to him? I was mean.
Who am I to judge him? And to judge him base on what others have told me? That was totally unacceptable! How could I do that to him? I was mean.
When I distant myself from him, I didn’t know what I was doing, I thought I wanted to protect myself. I wish that I had someone that would smacked me on the head and told me that was wrong for me to do to a friend. Now it is too late. I have hurt his feelings.
He was such a good and helpful friend to me. All the gossip I heard about him of being moody, bad tempered, wild, full of anger and hatrance, fight picker, act like a wet blanket were not true or at least he did not show me his darker side when were were friends.
1 Mac 2011 (9.40pm) – Azrul telah kembali ke rahmatullah akibat tumor di otaknya yang telah pecah dan melumpuhkan sistem sarafnya. Semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat. Al-Fatihah…
PS: I always have the opportunity of getting to know a lot of people …not just good but great people and they were always kind to me and most of the time I screwed it up due to my insecurity.
