19. Spirituality-Healing Connection

Most people would turn to religion or spirituality to cope with the pain and to ease the process of acceptance for their conditions. Spirituality and religiousness have roles to play in the rehabilitation process and in the lives of people with disabilities. It makes us recognise and embraced that there is a Higher Power Greater than us. But first let us differentiate the term of religion and spirituality.

Underwood-Gordon et al., (1997) also distinguished between the meanings of spirituality and religiousness. This pervasive discernment was reflected in the writings of other authors in the fields of rehabilitation, occupational therapy and nursing (Egan & DeLaat, 1994; Engquist, Short-DeGraff, Gliner, & Oltjenbruns, 1996; Fitzgerald, 1997) as well as in the field of religion (Thomas, 2000).

Although related, these terms are not considered synonymous by most authors. 

Religiousness is associated with systems of worship, each system having a dogma that is shared with a group (Underwood-Gordon et al., 1997).

Spirituality, on the other hand, is considered a broader term (King, Speck, & Thomas, 1994), not associated with a specific religion, but refers to an individual's overall beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life (Fulton & Moore, 1995; Kirsh, 1996). Thomas (2000) stated that the difference between the terms is a contemporary distinction that includes the assumption that "whereas religion deals with the outer life, that is, institutions, traditions, practices, doctrines, and moral codes, spirituality treats the inner life, which thus tends to be individualized" (Thomas, 2000, p. 43).

An online friend, Brad Miller whom I met from Becker Dystrophy Canada, a support group for those affected with BMD in Canada told me his experience with religion and spirituality in coming to term with his condition which he suffered since he was a child.

He said. “ Great question Fazz! I think it does have an affect! I am a Christian and believe my faith helps me at times but it is still from time to time I do find it hard accepting the affects this has on my day to day life. And in times of frustration my belief helps me through those hard times. I think everyone needs something to help them get through I have also found that listening to music helps me relax and feel better.

I guess we all have to find what works for us since many of us have different beliefs. Some may question if your a Christian then why hasn't God healed you yet? I'd have to respond telling them in the bible it says in heaven theres no more sickness or pain so that must mean some of us will have to wait until we get there to be healed. Until then I just have to trust in God that one day we might find a cure! And I know the subject of spirituality/religion is a touchy subject for some but whatever people believe I'm ok with that!

Another online friend I have met from my FB page is Aunty Rukiah who has a friend affected with MD and now he is on a wheelchair and could not move his hands and legs.

Rukiah wrote "Allah loves us & He is testing us. Everyone is given trials in their lives. Sebagai penebus dosa2 yg lalu & kita hendaklah redha Akan ketentuan hidup di alam yg fana ini supaya kita ditempatkan di kalangan mereka yg soleh n solehah. Hold on tight n always supplicate to Him for He is nearer than our jugalar vein. Alhamdulillah He has given us time utk memperbetulkan keadaan esp masa lampau kita yg jahiliah dulu. Tc "

Dua is the most powerful weapon against troubles,
The most effective medicine against Illness,
And
The most valuable Gift to give,
So I'm making a special Dua for you today..tc
wa itha maridtu fa huwa yash fiin....when i'm ill,He's the healer(recite this all the time to ease ur pain) tc

Noryanti Mahbub Saad who is suffering from cerebral palsy whom I also met on my FB page said, “I always doa to Allah don't left me behind. Alhamdulilah ketidakupayaan itu terus membuat saya terus bergantung kepada Allah kerana kita diberi ujian ini kerana kita mampu melaluinya .InsyaAllah. Allah yang memberi ,dia juga akan menyembuhkannya.

One of the most impressive compendium of the compiled in Lenvin's 2001 book - God, Faith and Health: Exploring the Spirituality-Healing Connection which cited :

a) religious Americans have a lifespan approximately 7 years longer on average than non-believer      American.

b)regular religious fellowship benefits health by offering social support that may buffer the effects of  stress and isolations.

c) participation in worship such as prayers, doa and meditation benefits health through the psychological effects of positive emotions.

d) having faith benefits physical and mental health related to thoughts of hope, optimism and positive emotions.

e) when persons who are prayed for by prayers group or other people, there is indications of health improvement due to perceived divine interventions.

18. Jom Raikan Cinta

 

The Cousins

Akhirnya,  setelah mengambil ubat penahan sakit sebelum menghadiri majlis pertunangan adik lelaki saya, sakit belakang berkurangan tetapi kaki saya masih  lagi bengkak. Kami berkumpul di rumah Mak Lang.

Ketika di rumah Mak Lang, saya terfikir, mesti ramai orang yang hadir di majlis itu nanti dan tiba-tiba perasaan malu menyelubungi diri. Apa kata tetamu lain nanti kalau lihat saya sebegini? Poji pun mesti  malu dengan keluarga tunang dia. Macam mana nanti kalau Poji terpaksa menjawab pelbagai persoalan daripada pihak tunangnya tentang keadaan fizikal saya? Saya sendiri pun kadangkala rimas apabila ramai asyik bertanya tentang keadaan saya.

Saya memberitahu Mak Teh yang saya tidak mahu pergi kerana  saya malu dengan tanggapan tetamu-tetamu yang hadir saya juga tidak mahu memalukan Poji dengan keadaan saya ini. Mak Teh hampir menangis dan memujuk saya supaya pergi. “Please do it for the sake of your brother, biar orang nak cakap apa. This is our family matter. Please support your brother...” kata Mak Teh.

  Me With Abg Long n Faiz

Apabila teringatkan Poji, saya rasa pasti dia akan kecewa kalau saya sebagai abangnya tidak menghadiri antara hari bersejarah dalam hidup dia. Saya kuatkan semangat dan kikis perasaan malu dan rendah diri. Berulang kali saya berkata pada diri sendiri bahawa perkara yang saya risaukan itu hanyalah mainan fikiran. “What people talk behind my back is none of my business, at the end of the day, I know I have done my best to support my brother,” kata saya sendirian.

Kami pun bergerak menuju ke rumah pihak perempuan. Saya dan Abang Long naik satu kereta bersama anaknya Faiz yang baru berusia 3 tahun lebih. Sepanjang perjalanan, kami tidak banyak berbual. Mungkin Abang Long dapat rasakan yang saya tidak akan rasa selesa berada di khalayak ramai dengan keadaan saya sebegini.

with Pak Teh and  Mak Teh

Setelah sampai, Abang Long membukakan pintu kereta saya dan kami berjalan menuju ke rumah pihak perempuan. Tangan kanan saya memegang crutches dan tangan kiri saya mahu memaut lengan Abang Long supaya apabila berjalan saya dapat menstabilkan kaki saya untuk berjalan dan mengelak daripada terjatuh. Tapi tapak tangan kanan Abang Long terus mengenggam tapak tangan kiri saya dengan erat tanda memberi sokongan pada saya untuk berdepan dengan situasi berkenaan.

Sebelah tangannya memimpin saya dan sebelah lagi tangan Abang Long memimpin Faiz. Rasa lucu pun ada, rasa macam saya anak anak kecil seperti Faiz. Seperti yang telah saya jangkakan, semua mata yang hadir, tertumpu pada saya. Saya kuatkan semangat dan buat muka tebal dan senyum pada semua yang ada di majlis itu.

“Because this what I am , I have to be brave to face the crowd and I am not ashamed of my condition. This is an important day for my younger brother and I am here to show my support and love for him, no matter what...” bisik kata hati saya.

Dozz off  little Faiz

Sampai di depan rumah berkenaan, tanpa menghiraukan pandangan tetamu-tetamu lain, Abang Long terus membantu membukakan kasut saya dan pabila masuk ke dalam rumah sebuah kerusi telah tersedia untuk saya, jadi saya tak perlu duduk bersila dan mudah untuk saya bangun nanti. Alhamdullilah, majlis pertunangan berjalan dengan lancar and I had successfully overcome my self esteem issue because of the love for my younger brother and because of the love and support demonstrated by mt Abang Long.

17. A Visit

I set up the Facebook Page Fazz Fadhilah vs Muscular Dystrophy to create public awareness on Muscular Dystrophy as it is a rare disease and hardly heard in my country.

Not many people knowa about it and I want to change people's perception on this disease. I also created the page with the hope that many other MD sufferers like me would come forward and face the reality and lives as normal as possible bravely facing the society.

I know it is not easy to come to term with your affected self but with the right kind of support, I hope they be accepted by the society without any discrimination.

Little did I expect that my page would caught the attention of two famous personalities in Malaysia. First it was Francissca Peter, the singer with an angel voice. I grew up with her songs from Siapa Dia Sebelum Daku, Terlambat Buakan Erti Tamat (OST for Isaura), Sekadar Di Pinggiran, Digenggam Sepi, Kehebatan Cinta just to name a few. She wrote inspiring words on my page and motivate me to be strong.

Next, it was our very own actress, film director producer and a living legend, Fauziah Datuk Ahmad Daud aka Ogy. She commented on my page about me and what im going through and my cause. I never expect to have a direct communication with her. She even called me and asked how I was. We spoke about 30 minutes that afternoon.

She is one of my favorite artiste. I watched most of her films and listen to her songs.

I follow her career since I was a kid. Watched most of her films from Ceritaku Cerita Mu, Azura, Ali Setan, Suara Kekasih, Puteri, Bintang Malam, Bayi Tabung Uji, Pengantin Popularand the latest Anu dalam Botol.

Among her songs that I still remember, Gerhana, Horizon, Simfoni Kasih, Hanya Padamu Saja, Suara Kekasih, Bila Bunga Berguguran, Riwayat Petani, Wajah Rahsia Hati, Sandarkan Pada Kenangan, Both Fauziah and Fran have a duet song each with another of my Favorite singer Jamal Abdillah.

Thank you Fran and Fauziah from Fazz for supporting my page and sharing your concerns and humanities.

16. A friend in need, Is a friend indeed

Last weekend I went for a karaoke session with four friends and we parked the car at the basement of shopping mall. My friend Farid parked his car as close as possible to the entrance so that I don't have to walk far to get to the lift. 

As we walked to the entrance, to my horror there were no lift to the ground floor. My friends were looking for other entrance if there was any lift nearby but to our disappoinment there was no lift at all except for stairs. 

I did not want to spoilt anyone's mood that night so I told them to go ahead  and I would just wait for them at the basement. My friends told me to take my time to step on the stair. So, I started to walk and lifted my legs, but it was not a simple task to step on the stair. My left hand holding on the bar of the stair and my right hand trying to lift both my right and left legs, one at a time. It was a slow process.

Suddenly, Zam was standing infront of me and bending his back and said, " Hop on," I asked "What?".  He said. "Hop on my back and I'll carry you up", He carried me on his back and took me on all of these two storey of steps. I must say I that I am not that light. I am 68kg of weight. We finally managed to get to the ground floor where the lift to the karaoke was.

I was touched by their generosity, the helping spirit as well as the friendship that these guys offer me. They never look down on me and give any negative remarks about my condition. They accept me the way I am and accept my friendship with an open arms.

15. Misconception

There are misconceptions about Muscle Dystrophy. Many people have limited knowledge about Muscular Dystrophy. Some would relate it to Multiple Sclerosis. This confusion is due to the lack of awareness among the society on this fatal disease.
Muscular dystrophy is a group of inherited diseases that are characterized by weakness and wasting away of muscle tissue, with or without the breakdown of nerve tissue. There are nine types of muscular dystrophy, but in each type there is an eventual loss of strength, increasing disability, and possible deformity.

The most well known of the muscular dystrophies is Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), followed by Becker muscular dystrophy (BMD). They cause similar patterns of weakness and disability and are inherited in the same way, although weakness and disability are more severe in DMD. Becker dystrophy is often classified as a less severe form of Duchenne dystrophy. They both are due to defects of the same gene, the normal function of which is to enable muscle fibers to make a particular chemical substance, a protein called dystrophin. Muscle fibers in people affected with DMD are extremely deficient in dystrophin, but in BMD the deficiency is less severe.

Listed below are the nine different types of muscular dystrophy. Each type differs in the muscles affected, the age of onset, and its rate of progress.

Becker - age at onset: two to 16 years; symptoms are almost identical to Duchenne but less severe; progresses more slowly than Duchenne; survival into middle age.

Congenital - age at onset: birth; symptoms include general muscle weakness and possible joint deformities; disease progresses slowly; shortened life span.

Duchenne - age at onset: two to six years; symptoms include general muscle weakness and wasting; affects pelvis, upper arms, and upper legs; eventually involves all voluntary muscles; survival beyond 20s is rare.

Distal - age at onset: 40 to 60 years; symptoms include weakness and wasting of muscles of the hands, forearms, and lower legs; progress is slow; rarely leads to total incapacity.

Emery-Dreifuss - age at onset: childhood to early teens; symptoms include weakness and wasting of shoulder, upper arm, and shin muscles; joint deformities are common; progress is slow; sudden death may occur from cardiac problems.

Facioscapulohumeral - age at onset: teens to early adults; symptoms include facial muscle weakness and weakness with some wasting of shoulders and upper arms; progress is slow, with periods of rapid deterioration; life span may be many decades after onset.

Limb-Girdle - age at onset: late childhood to middle age; symptoms include weakness and wasting, affecting shoulder girdle and pelvic girdle first; progress is slow; death is usually due to cardiopulmonary complications.

Myotonic - age at onset: 20 to 40 years; symptoms include weakness of all muscle groups accompanied by delayed relaxation of muscles after contraction; affects face, feet, hands, and neck first; progress is slow, sometimes spanning 50 to 60 years.

Oculopharyngeal - age at onset: 40 to 70 years; symptoms affect muscles of eyelids and throat causing weakening of throat muscles, which in time causes inability to swallow and emaciation from lack of food; progress is slow.

14. Searching for Emotional Support, Searching for Other Sufferers

For the past few days I have been trying to locate any support group for Muscular Distrophy Disease but to no avail. I searched on the internet but I could not find any support group in Malaysia let alone in KL.

I found few websites but they were dealing with sport injuries and physical theraphy. I also found Hospis Malaysia an association with palliative care that provides relief to patients suffering from life-limiting illness. I called them up but they are not the kind of association I was looking for.

 I found an association for Parkinson's Disease but not MD but I was determined to look for  a group for emotional support in dealing with this rare disease.  If we could socialises with each other and make ourselves feel comfortable wouldnt it be a relief knowing that  we are not alone in dealing with this fatal disease. We could also motivate each other  at the same time.

At  the same I remembered a few months back I have read a newspaper article about how a Malaysian prolific moviemaker Mior Hashim Manaf and his wife a former actress Izzaidah Khairan dealing with their three children who are affected with muscle disease. The three out of seven siblings are affected since they were born.

I contacted Mior and told him about me and my disease and hoping that he would share his experience dealing and raising his children with muscle diseases. he replied my email and told me about his experience and even reccommended me to seek alternative medicine thru a traditional massage on the nerves and relieve the pain. I thanked him for that and I hope to get in touch with his children and I want to know how they deal with their lives on daily basis and how the disease affected their lives.

Meanwhile, after few days of making a few phone calls, I finally managed to find Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS). It was founded by Datuk Hatijah Ayob in 2004.
Although MRDS does not exclusively  deal with Muscular Distrophy but it was enough for me that MRDS cater Muscular Distrophy with other rare diseases. A rare disorder is a medical condition that affects only a few people in the population and usually has genetic origins. I spoke with Datuk Hatijah about my conditions. She told me only one person has registered with MRDS with Muscle Disease and that person is based in Ipoh.  am sure there are many MND suffrers out there like me but the just do not where to get support. My conversation with er lasted for 15 minutes and she asked me to come and visit MRDS.

I realised there is no cure for my disease. The best I could do is to gather as many people as possible with this disease and their family members. Through support group  hope we could  maintain the highest possible quality of life as long as life remains.

13. Reconnecting

Re-Connecting (online) with old friends...Yesterday I had a nice conversation with Chrissy Pacaldo whom I have not spoken to for almost nine years, At first I did not remember her but after a few seconds when she said hi, I remembered her as a nice and friendly girl in college with a sultry voice. I remembered working on few assigments with her during our college days in KDU. I lost touch with her when  continued my studies in  Perth. Hema  our mutual friend at college  reccommended  Chrissy  to my FB friend lists. I must say Facebook in awesome in reconnecting with old friends. 

When I asked Chrissy whether she remembered me, she said, "Of course I do",  I almost wanted to cry because I thought most people in college would not remember me.  I was a shy and not so friendly person in college because of the age gap. I was a mature student when I pursued my degree. Chrissy now resides in Manila and engaged to a Filipino guy.  She asked me about my disease and  told her about my disease. Would love to catch up with you Chrissy, when you are in KL. let me know  ya..

The night before I was chatting to Sharifah who was also a mature student in the college. We hardly talk. maybe just exchanged smile and hi and bye, that's about it. But I always remember her as a determined lady from Singapore who had cancer and now she is a cancer survivor. She was married with kids when she studied in KDU. She always hang out with the gang at the college entrance before she went back and I would waved my hand to them and straight away left college after class.  Kak Pah it would nice to hang out with u if u ever in KL.

This morning with Ahmad Kamaruzzaman my former schoolmate for whom I've lost touch for 19 years. He left Victoria Instituion after we finished our SRP in form 3. Since then I never hear from him until today when I met him on FB. He read about my disease that I wrote on my profile. He shared his experience with me regarding his sister's sickness which is similar to MND. His sister had Multiple Screlosis (MS) and  has passed on last year, June 6th.

He told me about how the family took care of his sister and the symptoms. I told him I had similar symptoms. He sasked about my medication and theraphy.  and he he would give me a tradisional medicine that his sister was on,  for me to try.

TQ guys for remembering me, for your support and include me in your prayers. I hope to reconnect with more friends whom I have lost touch.

12. Abang Long

My elder brother visited me yesterday while I was taking a nap. He woke me up and embraced me. He was never like that before. I felt awkward as me and him we do not  express our love openly, but I think he was overwhelmed to see me as we haven't seen each other about a year and a half. (I went missing in that period after I got depressed with Muscular Distrophy diagnose)

Early that week, I had brunch with Zam and Che Lan by the poolside at their condo and we were talking about how  difficult it was for most families in our society to express their love towards other family members. Zam said he was trying to change that by sending text messages to his mom saying he loved her and to his surprise, his mother would reply "I love you too,"  Zam tries to make it a habit by sending love messages to his mother and siblings. He wanted to express his love before it was too late and he had a positive response from his mother. Taklah macam sesetengah malay family apabila kita buat macam tu, rase pelik and kadang-kadang kita kene balik " Kau dah buang mentebiat?" some of the candid responses one would received.

Abang Long and I were very close when we were very young. He has a pleasant personality while I have a strong personality. Although he is older than me,  he sometimes was bullied by me, taking the blame for the things I've done. He loves me and always  became protective over me when were in the primary school.

I still remember one incident in Standard 1,  when the school bus had left me while I was busy playing in the field with my friends. When I found out I was left behind, I did not cry but walk up and down the lane where there were few buses still waiting for their passengers.

 I went to this  fat short bus but it was more like a fat van than a bus actually and asked the driver if she could send me home. I told her of what  had happened.  The makcik busdriver sent me home and I reached home before Abang Long reached home. Of course my grandmother was shocked  to see me coming home with different bus and the makcik sent me. I told her of what happened and she was angry at me for being irresponsible.

When Abang Long reached home, I hid before the couch. I saw him crying outside the house calling for my grandmother and told her that I went missing and he couldn't find me. I could see that he was not just sad but panicked. Then I jumped out from behind the couch and laughed. he stopped crying and hugged me and said "Jangan buat macam tu lagi tau," That was when we were still very young. As were grew up, we grew apart...

In our teenage years we hardly talk. After my SPM I left home to do my matriculation and A-level till I finished my degree. In that period I hardly came home and even when I was in Australia we didnt contact each other. When I came back for good after I had finished my studies, we became like strangers to each other. He stayed with grandma and I was staying on my own but visiting grandma from time to time.

I called Abang Long and he answered my call and we talk for awhile and that night we had dinner together, just the two of us but I tried but couldnt brought the matter in our conversation but I just wanted him to know that nothing will ever change,  the fact that he will always be my Abang Long no matter what.

On his wedding day, I became his best man and even when  during the lunch at the reception, Abang Long grabbed my hand and asked me to sit next to him which I did. We became close again briefly but not as close  as when we were young.

I had lunch with Abang Long in my bedroom yesterday.  He wanted to carry me on his back to go through the split level as I could not climb the staircase to the dining area.  I refused to be carried on his back because I was not sure if he could stand my weight to carry me on his back.

I just wanted to be in my room. Abang Long decided to have lunch with me in my bedroom. We talked and were  reminiscing our childhood memories. Before Abang Long left,  we shaked hand and and I bowed my head to his hand to show respect and he kissed me on my forehead, expressing his love openly which he  had never done that in his entire life as my Abang Long. I was pleasantly surprised .

Like Zam and Abang Long, more and more Malay families are not shy anymore in expressing their love to their loved ones. Let our loved ones know how much we love them. I have finally found my Abang Long whom I thought I have lost all this while.

11. Say No to Nuke Power Plant

Despite their superior technologies and high-developed awareness against such disasters but Japan was knocked down by the March 11 earth quake and tsunami that killed thousand of Japanese and now is struggling to quell  the nuclear reactor meltdown triggered by the tsunami.

The word meltdown is so emotive and it evokes our greatest fears concerning the atomic impact,  the generation lives ruined by cancer, by poisoning. Chernobyl. Three Miles Island. Hiroshima and Nagasaki

The damaged Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, which has suffered four explosions, the cooling systems failure three of its reactors has become an eye opener for many countries considering the nuclear power option including our country.

Malaysia  plans to build two nuclear power plants to generate 1,000MW each with the first plan to operate in 2021 and the second one a year later. Malaysia is in the midst of calling tenders and quotations from nuclear experts worldwide.

The implication of what happen in Japan raise questions about safety and damage control. Can we ever protect against all dangers?  Even Japan with the most advanced technologies and well prepared country is mightily struggling to quell the reactor meltdown. We should look at ourselves  and our capability, we should stop pursuing atomic energy.


The solution is to look other alternatives.  There are other safer,  cheaper alternative to nuclear power such as solar and wind power but these renewable and sustainable is repeatedly dismissed by promoter of nuclear energy based on selective analyses.

With proper regulations,  renewable energy can contribute enormously and efficiently to our energy reserves. Think about our future generations first before profits. Say NO to Nuke Power Plant.

10. Jepun Dekat Dihatiku

Sejak kecil lagi aku telah didampingi oleh barangan buatan Jepun.  Peralatan elekrtik di rumah rata-rata berjenama Toshiba ketika itu. Pada pandangan kami sekeluarga barangan buatan Jepun bermutu dan berteknologi tinggi.  Mula bersekolah darjah satu, jam pertama yang dihadiahkan berjenama Casio bertali hitam dan berlampu LED.

Masuk matrikulasi semua pelajar tergila gilakan jam Casio G-Shock but I went for Baby G. Di Matriluasi jugak aku membeli discman yang nipis warna silver jenama Sony.

Keluargaku memang minat dengan barangan buatan Jepun, piano di rumah nenek jenama Yamaha, kereta pertama Alang Nissan Datsun warna hijau cair  lepas tu tukar ke Mazda Kuning, Pakcik mula pakai Toyota Corolla Putih dan aku selepas tiga bulan mula bekerja beli Toyota Vios dan tukar ke Honda City.

Ketika remaja, aku pernah terserempak dengan seorang pelancong Jepun bernama Susumu Iwata yang bertanyakan arah, kami berbual dan dia bersiar siar sekitar KL pakai basikal saja. Beberapa hari selepas itu, ketika aku berjalan-jalan ke Penang, sekali lagi aku terserempak dengan Susumu. Rupa-rupanya dia telah mengayuh basikal dari KL ke Penang sejauh kira-kira 320 kilometer. Kental sungguh semangat orang Jepun ni dan kalau buat sesuatu memang bersungguh-sungguh.

Hari Pertama menjejakkan kaki ke Australia ketika menuntut dulu, orang pertama yang aku jumpa di hostel universiti adalah pelajar pertukaran dari Jepun bernama Yoshitaka yang biliknya berdepan dengan bilik aku. Masuk ke bilik Yoshi, macam-macam gajet yang more advance ada. Kagum melihat gajet-gajetnya yang lebih canggih seperti camera digital Sony yang kecil dan nipis serta lensa bole dirotate,  laptop Viao yang nipis dan ada slot kad SD sedangkan laptop Fujitsu aku hanya mempunyai ciri-ciri asas sahaja, tebal dan besar dan berat ketika itu.

Malam itu aku keluar makan malam bersama Yoshitaka bersama dengan 3 orang kawan lelaki dia dan 3 orang Kawan perempuan semuanya berbangsa Jepun. Selesai makan kami bergambar dan aku keluarkan kamera Minolta yang guna negatif, salahseorang kawan Yoshi, (Aku tak ingat nama dia) berkata dengan selamba dan naifnya ” Are you still using that kind of camera? We don’t have it anymore in Japan”.   Aku hanya tersenyum dan jawab  “Always like the conventional style”, sambil yang lain tergelak. Sungguh advancenya  teknologi Jepun sehingga tiada antara rakyatnya yang guna kamera seperti aku punya. Yoshi dan kawan-kawannya sangat peramah, berbudi bahasa dan bukan jenis yang suka berkonfrontasi. Setiap kali berjumpa kami  tunduk kepala tanda hormat kepada satu sama lain.

Aku dan Darwin, rakan satu kursus dari Jakarta gemar makan Sushi especially California Roll. Hampir 4-5 kali seminggu kami akan mengungjungi JAWS kedai sushi di tengan bandar sehingga pekerja-pekerja berbangsa Jepun itu mengenali kami. Balik Malaysia pun stlill suka sushi, pernah sekali aku kenakan kawan aku bernama Razi yang tidak pernah makan sushi dan dia ingat krim hijau tu adalah pandan so kami iayakan je dan suruh dia makan banyak krim hijau atau Wasabi tu sampai merah muka dan berair mata menahan penanganWasabi sehingga kami berderai ketawa.

Walaupun tidak pernah menjejakkan kaki ke negara matahari terbit itu but I embraced their culture graciously. Pernah masuk Aikido, pernah tonton Kabuki yang dimaiankan oleh seorang wanita, pernah hadiri majlis di rumah duta Jepun Masahiko Horie yang baru mula bertugas di Malaysia dan pernah berbual dengan Mrs Abe, isteri Perdana Meteri Jepun ketika itu. Abe memegang jawatan itu dalam masa singkat saja. ketika bercuti di Bali berkawan dengan Japanese surfers.

Bagi mereka yang membesar sekita 80an dan 90an pasti mengikuti Rancangan TV seperti Oshin, Maero Attack (masa tu kat sekolah main water polo tampar mcam teknik Chun), Chiaki, Doraemon, Ultraman, Ksatria Baja Hitam, filem seperti Memoirs of Geisha, Sumo Do, Sumo Don’t,  filem klasik Seven Samurai.  Mula meminati Ayumi Hamasaki dengan lagu-lagunya yang segar dan tidak lupa pada lagu evergreen Ribaibaru nyanyian Mayumi Itsuwa.

Kehidupan keluarga Maharaja Jepun turut mendapat liputan rakyat Malaysia. Walapun tidak semasyhur Puteri Diana tetapi kehidupan Puteri Masako, seorang diplomat  yang berkahwin dengan Putera Naruhito menarik minatku dan tekanan yang dihadapi untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan protokol keluarga Diraja . Polemik yang melanda keluarga Maharaja  Akihito dan Michiko apabila Masako melahirkan waris perempuan dan bukannya lelaki turut mendapat liputan.

Gempa bumi berukuran 9 skala Ricter dan Tsunami setingi 10 meter tinggi melanda Jepun Jumaat lepas mengejutkan kita semua. Di bandar Minamisanriku saja, hampir separuh populasinya hilang dan sekurang-kurangnya 2,000 mayat ditemui terdampar di pantai setelah Tsunami melanda. Kini Japan berhadapan pula dengan krisis reaktor nucklernya yang bocor, impak dari gempa bumi dan Tsunami.

Kerosakan yang amat teruk melanda the most developed counry in Asia and the cost of the disaster estimated at RM517 billion .

For all the devastation, the Japanese remain civilised. orderly and stoic people, apologising for needing help and taking up rescuers’ time.

No one should be left alone in the time of great suffering., least of all Japan. As the largest contributor, Japan has helped many countries including our country with low interest loan, grants and techbical cooperation. Though we are not rich, we as ordinary Malaysians should dig into our pocket and heart offering funds and prayers.

I pray that the Japanese will be strong in facing this difficult time.  And for Yoshitaka and friends, Susumu Iwata,  Mrs Abe, Princess Masako, Ambassador Horie,  the friendly waiters and waiteresses at Jaws, Japanese surfers in Bali and the Kabuki lady who represent the essence of Japan,  wherever you are my friends, I pray for your safety.

09. Kegilaan iPad 2

Kegilaan masyarakat dunia terhadap produk Ipad 2 melanda bukan sahaja di Amerika tetapi juga seluruh dunia termasuk Kuala Lumpur.Sejak diperkenalkan tahun lepas, Ipad menjadi fenomena di seluruh dunia. 

Ipad2 yang diumumkan 2 Mac lepas oleh Apple di San Francisco membuatkan orang ramai sudah tidak sabar-sabar untuk menanti kedatangan Ipad 2 di pasaran 25 Mac ini di negara-negara tertentu tetapi di KL belum diputuskan lagi bila.

Lebih banyak Ipad versi pertama telah dijual minggu lepas berikutan pengumuman Apple menurukan RM400 off untuk semua model Ipad yang sedia ada.

Enjin carian internet pula  mencatatkan Ipad2 sebagai antara bahan yang tertinggi dicari menerusi internet.

Ada kawan Fazz yang  baaru saja  membeli Ipad versi wifi dan 3G setelah menjual Ipas versi wifinya sahaja beberapa bulan lepas, kini dia sibuk nak menjual Ipadnya untuk mendapatkan Ipad2.Rata-rata masyarakat menunggu Ipad2 yang lebih powerful dan tindakan

Apple memberikan diskaun untuk Ipad baru versi lama membuatkan ramai mampu miliki Ipad. Tak kurang juga yang  beli secondhand Ipad yang dijual dengan  harga yang lebih murah lagi.

Ini tak termasuk lagi jenama-jenama lain yang tidak mahu ketinggalan mengeluarkan tablet computer masing-masing to capture the market.

Begitulah kegillaan masyarkat dunia terhadap produk Ipad.

Apa Istimewanya Ipad 2?

Secara keseluruhannya, pembangunan peranti IPad 2 memberi fokus kepada pelaksanaan aktiviti pengkomputeran utama seperti pelayaran web, akses e-mel serta operasi multimedia untuk pengurusan foto, video, muzik, permainan video dan buku elektronik (e-book).

Binaan reka bentuk luar iPad 2 mempunyai 33 peratus lebih nipis dan 15 peratus lebih ringan berbanding versi pertamanya.

Namun, daripada segi paparan, ia masih mengekalkan implementasi skrin LCD 9.7 inci dengan sokongan lampu belakang LED.

Operasi IPad 2 dipacu oleh sistem pemproses A5 berkembar yang menawarkan prestasi lebih pantas dan grafik makin menyerlah.

Tidak cukup dengan itu, ia turut dilengkapi kamera VGA hadapan dan belakang bagi menyokong operasi panggilan video serta rakaman video definisi tinggi (HD) 720p.

Dengan keupayaan itu juga, pengguna kini boleh melakukan panggilan FaceTime kepada semua rangkaian peranti seperti iPhone 4, iPod Touch, dan Mac.

Menerusi aplikasi Photo Booth pula, pengguna berpeluang mengedit foto yang telah di ambil dengan memasukkan kesan-kesan visual yang menarik.

iPad 2 dipacu oleh sistem operasi iOS 4.3 versi terkini yang menampilkan aplikasi-aplikasi seperti pelayar Safari Mobile, iTunes Home Sharing dan AirPlay.

Selain itu, pengguna turut ditawarkan dengan aplikasi iMovie untuk menyunting video serta Hotspot untuk tujuan perkongsian sambungan data selular bersama iPhone 4 menerusi Wi-Fi.

Spesifikasi lainnya adalah seperti perisian Gyro untuk permainan video, akses pelayaran HSUPA dan paparan kandungan televisyen HD melalui sambungan adaptor.

Sesuatu yang menarik, iPad 2 ini didatangkan bersama penutup pintar di bahagian hadapannya yang bertindak sebagai penyokong bahagian badan secara menegak ketika peranti digunakan untuk menaip atau menonton video.

Penutup pintar itu juga dibangunkan dengan rekaan engsel magnetik unik supaya mudah di pasang dan ditanggalkan selain dilengkapi lapisan gentian mikro bagi menjamin kebersihan permukaan skrin.

Ia turut berperanan mengaktifkan peranti secara automatik apabila ia dibuka dan menamatkan operasi sebaik ditutup.

Setakat ini, iPad 2 boleh menyokong lebih 350,000 aplikasi daripada App Store dan 65,000 aplikasi yang dibangunkan oleh individu atau syarikat daripada 20 kategori.

Ia termasuk permainan video, bisnes, berita, sukan, kesihatan dan pelancongan.

Menerusi aplikasi iTunes Store pula, pengguna iPad 2 berpeluang mengakses paparan kandungan muzik, televisyen dan filem secara dalam talian.

Walaupun iPad 2 mampu menyokong pelbagai perisian dan aplikasi, namun ia mempunyai ketahanan jangka hayat bateri sehingga 10 jam.

Ipad tidak menggunakan papan kekunci  (unless u beli external papan kekunci lar) tetpai menggunakkan skrin sesentuh.  Jika anda risau tentang jari jemari anda yang baru di ‘manucurekan itu, berhenti risau keraana kini dah ada stylus untuk Ipad agar anda tidak perlu menyentuh skrin dengan jari anda. Boxwave  Capacitive Stylus kini berada di pasaran

06. Special Message on March 11, 2011

In the wake of the eartquake and Tsunami that hit Japan hours ago,  would like to express my deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences to Japan and its people and especially to those who have lost family and friends.

Natural calamities remind us that we are living on the same earth and our humanity brings us together regardless of our race religion and color. Please donate money to your local reputable aid group.

Japan needs our help. What hit Japan is heartbreaking. I sincerely hope that with solidarity of the world,  the  people of Japan will be able to overcome this nightmare

05. Coming Home To Say Goodbye

When I first heard the death of a friend. I was shocked. he was young and healthy,  and I did not expect to receive this news about his untimely death. His housemate told me that after his migraine attacks were unberable,  he wanted to be taken home to his hometown.

A home where he grew up, a home where he spent his innocent age before he left home to venture life and progressed.

It was as if he knew he was not going to make it and wanted to spend his final days at home.  He was coming home to die,  to be surrounded by familiar faces and amicable environment before he was laid to rest in peace.

The same thing happened to my late grandfather 23 years ago.  He was hospitalised and did not show any sign of recovering and he had had it in the hospital. He wanted to rest at home and we brought him home and he passed on a few days later.

When my grandmother was sick, she was taken care by my aunty at my aunty’s house.  A few days before she passed away, she wanted to be taken home,  to the same house where my grandfather had passed away.

No matter how far we go, no matter how free it seemed to be away from home, when the time comes to say goodbye, our final stopover will be at home. A home where we cherish our love, remembering our childhood memories and finding peace with the sweet-sour relationship with lthe oved ones.

Emak and Abah ( I called my grandfather and grandmother as I was living in a extended family environment) wanted to be home to reminisce their memory for one last time before their final journey. Not many people have the opportunit of coming home to say goodbye.  Some will die in road accidents or in an operating theatre but eventually the body would taken home.

PS: After 16 years of being away from home  I recently came home to recollect and to relive my own memories of this home and family,  besides mending my broken spirit. I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy.

04. Farewell To A Misunderstood Friend

2 Mac 2011 (8.10 am) - Apabila Sham memberitahu aku bahawa Azrul telah meninggal dunia, aku kaget, tergamam dan terkejut. Masa kan Azrul yang masih muda dan sihat itu telah meninggal dunia. Aku tanyakan punca kematian Azrul tetapi Sham sendiri pun kurang pasti, itu pun ada orang lain yang mengkhabarkan padanya pagi itu.

Aku tidak puashati terus menelefon nombor Azrul mengharapkan Azrul yang menjawab dan menghentikan gurauan yang keterlaluan ini. Panggilan aku disambut oleh teman serumah Azrul dan dia memberitahu Azrul sudah tiada lagi dan dia telah menceritakan apa yang telah berlaku. So it is true that he has passed away.

 November 2008 - aku masih ingat lagi apabila Azrul telah meminjamkan kereta yang baru beberapa bulan dibelinya bagi memudahkan aku untuk bergerak. Aku baru saja menjual kereta ku untuk membeli kereta baru tetapi terpaksa menunggu selama 4 bulan untuk menerima kereta baru kerana tempahan yang terlalu tinggi terhadap model kereta tersebut.

Aku amat berterima kasih dengan Azrul. Tak perlu lah aku bersusah payah turun naik teksi berulang alik dari rumah ke pejabat. Nak naik bas or LRT rasenya dah berzaman aku tak berbuat demikian.

Januari 2009 - banyak pihak yang dapat tahu Azrul meminjamkan keretanya pada aku dan dia sanggup menunggang motosikal ke pejabat. Aku mula terdengar cerita-cerita yang kurang enak pasal Azrul.

1 Februari 2009 - Aku pulangkan keretanya dan mula menjauhkan diri daripada Azrul tanpa memberitahu sebabnya. Itu merupakan kali terakhir aku berjumpa dengan Azrul.

2 Januari 2011 - Entah mengapa aku teringat akan Azrul. Aku mula menghubungi Azrul untuk bertanyakan khabar. Dengan kondisi ku yang tidak berapa sihat elok rasanya aku mengnautkan kembali persahabatan kami yang terputus begitu saja. Mujur dia masih menggunakan nombor yang sama. Kami berbual dan aku minta maaf atas perbuatan aku dan kami saling bermaafan. Sejak hari tu kami ada juga bertukar-tukat mesej berteks.

5 Januari 2011 - Ada juga beberapa kali kami ajak lepak sama tetapi Azrul menolak kerana kurang sihat. Katanya sakit kepalanya kian menjadi-jadi sejak kebelakangan ini. Malaha pada hari berkenaan di cuti sakit. Aku suruh dia berehat je, banyak masa lagi bole lepak sama, kata ku padanya.

12 Januari 2011 - Azrul menelefon dan kami berbual, I could sensed there was something he wanted to ask, He wanted to know why did I distance myself from him and cut off the friendship. I told him about what I have heard about him and I did not want him to have bad influences on me.

He told me that he was always misunderstood. He said deserved to clear his name and he should be given a chance. Most of the time he was not given a chance by many including me.

I said …at that time, the hearsay about him was more than enough for me to judge him and he should own up to it. He was silent and I knew he was devastated with my explanation. I apologized to him of being harsh.
Who am I to judge him? And to judge him base on what others have told me? That was totally unacceptable! How could I do that to him? I was mean.

When I distant myself from him, I didn’t know what I was doing, I thought I wanted to protect myself. I wish that I had someone that would smacked me on the head and told me that was wrong for me  to do to a friend. Now it is too late. I have hurt his feelings.

He was such a good and helpful friend to me.  All the gossip I heard about him of being moody, bad tempered, wild, full of anger and hatrance,  fight picker, act like a wet blanket were not true or at least he did not show me his darker side when were were friends.

1 Mac 2011 (9.40pm) – Azrul telah kembali ke rahmatullah akibat tumor di otaknya yang telah pecah dan melumpuhkan sistem sarafnya. Semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat. Al-Fatihah…

PS: I always have the opportunity of getting to know a lot of people …not just good but great people and they were always kind to me and most of the time I screwed it up due to my insecurity.