12. Abang Long

My elder brother visited me yesterday while I was taking a nap. He woke me up and embraced me. He was never like that before. I felt awkward as me and him we do not  express our love openly, but I think he was overwhelmed to see me as we haven't seen each other about a year and a half. (I went missing in that period after I got depressed with Muscular Distrophy diagnose)

Early that week, I had brunch with Zam and Che Lan by the poolside at their condo and we were talking about how  difficult it was for most families in our society to express their love towards other family members. Zam said he was trying to change that by sending text messages to his mom saying he loved her and to his surprise, his mother would reply "I love you too,"  Zam tries to make it a habit by sending love messages to his mother and siblings. He wanted to express his love before it was too late and he had a positive response from his mother. Taklah macam sesetengah malay family apabila kita buat macam tu, rase pelik and kadang-kadang kita kene balik " Kau dah buang mentebiat?" some of the candid responses one would received.

Abang Long and I were very close when we were very young. He has a pleasant personality while I have a strong personality. Although he is older than me,  he sometimes was bullied by me, taking the blame for the things I've done. He loves me and always  became protective over me when were in the primary school.

I still remember one incident in Standard 1,  when the school bus had left me while I was busy playing in the field with my friends. When I found out I was left behind, I did not cry but walk up and down the lane where there were few buses still waiting for their passengers.

 I went to this  fat short bus but it was more like a fat van than a bus actually and asked the driver if she could send me home. I told her of what  had happened.  The makcik busdriver sent me home and I reached home before Abang Long reached home. Of course my grandmother was shocked  to see me coming home with different bus and the makcik sent me. I told her of what happened and she was angry at me for being irresponsible.

When Abang Long reached home, I hid before the couch. I saw him crying outside the house calling for my grandmother and told her that I went missing and he couldn't find me. I could see that he was not just sad but panicked. Then I jumped out from behind the couch and laughed. he stopped crying and hugged me and said "Jangan buat macam tu lagi tau," That was when we were still very young. As were grew up, we grew apart...

In our teenage years we hardly talk. After my SPM I left home to do my matriculation and A-level till I finished my degree. In that period I hardly came home and even when I was in Australia we didnt contact each other. When I came back for good after I had finished my studies, we became like strangers to each other. He stayed with grandma and I was staying on my own but visiting grandma from time to time.

I called Abang Long and he answered my call and we talk for awhile and that night we had dinner together, just the two of us but I tried but couldnt brought the matter in our conversation but I just wanted him to know that nothing will ever change,  the fact that he will always be my Abang Long no matter what.

On his wedding day, I became his best man and even when  during the lunch at the reception, Abang Long grabbed my hand and asked me to sit next to him which I did. We became close again briefly but not as close  as when we were young.

I had lunch with Abang Long in my bedroom yesterday.  He wanted to carry me on his back to go through the split level as I could not climb the staircase to the dining area.  I refused to be carried on his back because I was not sure if he could stand my weight to carry me on his back.

I just wanted to be in my room. Abang Long decided to have lunch with me in my bedroom. We talked and were  reminiscing our childhood memories. Before Abang Long left,  we shaked hand and and I bowed my head to his hand to show respect and he kissed me on my forehead, expressing his love openly which he  had never done that in his entire life as my Abang Long. I was pleasantly surprised .

Like Zam and Abang Long, more and more Malay families are not shy anymore in expressing their love to their loved ones. Let our loved ones know how much we love them. I have finally found my Abang Long whom I thought I have lost all this while.

11. Say No to Nuke Power Plant

Despite their superior technologies and high-developed awareness against such disasters but Japan was knocked down by the March 11 earth quake and tsunami that killed thousand of Japanese and now is struggling to quell  the nuclear reactor meltdown triggered by the tsunami.

The word meltdown is so emotive and it evokes our greatest fears concerning the atomic impact,  the generation lives ruined by cancer, by poisoning. Chernobyl. Three Miles Island. Hiroshima and Nagasaki

The damaged Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, which has suffered four explosions, the cooling systems failure three of its reactors has become an eye opener for many countries considering the nuclear power option including our country.

Malaysia  plans to build two nuclear power plants to generate 1,000MW each with the first plan to operate in 2021 and the second one a year later. Malaysia is in the midst of calling tenders and quotations from nuclear experts worldwide.

The implication of what happen in Japan raise questions about safety and damage control. Can we ever protect against all dangers?  Even Japan with the most advanced technologies and well prepared country is mightily struggling to quell the reactor meltdown. We should look at ourselves  and our capability, we should stop pursuing atomic energy.


The solution is to look other alternatives.  There are other safer,  cheaper alternative to nuclear power such as solar and wind power but these renewable and sustainable is repeatedly dismissed by promoter of nuclear energy based on selective analyses.

With proper regulations,  renewable energy can contribute enormously and efficiently to our energy reserves. Think about our future generations first before profits. Say NO to Nuke Power Plant.

10. Jepun Dekat Dihatiku

Sejak kecil lagi aku telah didampingi oleh barangan buatan Jepun.  Peralatan elekrtik di rumah rata-rata berjenama Toshiba ketika itu. Pada pandangan kami sekeluarga barangan buatan Jepun bermutu dan berteknologi tinggi.  Mula bersekolah darjah satu, jam pertama yang dihadiahkan berjenama Casio bertali hitam dan berlampu LED.

Masuk matrikulasi semua pelajar tergila gilakan jam Casio G-Shock but I went for Baby G. Di Matriluasi jugak aku membeli discman yang nipis warna silver jenama Sony.

Keluargaku memang minat dengan barangan buatan Jepun, piano di rumah nenek jenama Yamaha, kereta pertama Alang Nissan Datsun warna hijau cair  lepas tu tukar ke Mazda Kuning, Pakcik mula pakai Toyota Corolla Putih dan aku selepas tiga bulan mula bekerja beli Toyota Vios dan tukar ke Honda City.

Ketika remaja, aku pernah terserempak dengan seorang pelancong Jepun bernama Susumu Iwata yang bertanyakan arah, kami berbual dan dia bersiar siar sekitar KL pakai basikal saja. Beberapa hari selepas itu, ketika aku berjalan-jalan ke Penang, sekali lagi aku terserempak dengan Susumu. Rupa-rupanya dia telah mengayuh basikal dari KL ke Penang sejauh kira-kira 320 kilometer. Kental sungguh semangat orang Jepun ni dan kalau buat sesuatu memang bersungguh-sungguh.

Hari Pertama menjejakkan kaki ke Australia ketika menuntut dulu, orang pertama yang aku jumpa di hostel universiti adalah pelajar pertukaran dari Jepun bernama Yoshitaka yang biliknya berdepan dengan bilik aku. Masuk ke bilik Yoshi, macam-macam gajet yang more advance ada. Kagum melihat gajet-gajetnya yang lebih canggih seperti camera digital Sony yang kecil dan nipis serta lensa bole dirotate,  laptop Viao yang nipis dan ada slot kad SD sedangkan laptop Fujitsu aku hanya mempunyai ciri-ciri asas sahaja, tebal dan besar dan berat ketika itu.

Malam itu aku keluar makan malam bersama Yoshitaka bersama dengan 3 orang kawan lelaki dia dan 3 orang Kawan perempuan semuanya berbangsa Jepun. Selesai makan kami bergambar dan aku keluarkan kamera Minolta yang guna negatif, salahseorang kawan Yoshi, (Aku tak ingat nama dia) berkata dengan selamba dan naifnya ” Are you still using that kind of camera? We don’t have it anymore in Japan”.   Aku hanya tersenyum dan jawab  “Always like the conventional style”, sambil yang lain tergelak. Sungguh advancenya  teknologi Jepun sehingga tiada antara rakyatnya yang guna kamera seperti aku punya. Yoshi dan kawan-kawannya sangat peramah, berbudi bahasa dan bukan jenis yang suka berkonfrontasi. Setiap kali berjumpa kami  tunduk kepala tanda hormat kepada satu sama lain.

Aku dan Darwin, rakan satu kursus dari Jakarta gemar makan Sushi especially California Roll. Hampir 4-5 kali seminggu kami akan mengungjungi JAWS kedai sushi di tengan bandar sehingga pekerja-pekerja berbangsa Jepun itu mengenali kami. Balik Malaysia pun stlill suka sushi, pernah sekali aku kenakan kawan aku bernama Razi yang tidak pernah makan sushi dan dia ingat krim hijau tu adalah pandan so kami iayakan je dan suruh dia makan banyak krim hijau atau Wasabi tu sampai merah muka dan berair mata menahan penanganWasabi sehingga kami berderai ketawa.

Walaupun tidak pernah menjejakkan kaki ke negara matahari terbit itu but I embraced their culture graciously. Pernah masuk Aikido, pernah tonton Kabuki yang dimaiankan oleh seorang wanita, pernah hadiri majlis di rumah duta Jepun Masahiko Horie yang baru mula bertugas di Malaysia dan pernah berbual dengan Mrs Abe, isteri Perdana Meteri Jepun ketika itu. Abe memegang jawatan itu dalam masa singkat saja. ketika bercuti di Bali berkawan dengan Japanese surfers.

Bagi mereka yang membesar sekita 80an dan 90an pasti mengikuti Rancangan TV seperti Oshin, Maero Attack (masa tu kat sekolah main water polo tampar mcam teknik Chun), Chiaki, Doraemon, Ultraman, Ksatria Baja Hitam, filem seperti Memoirs of Geisha, Sumo Do, Sumo Don’t,  filem klasik Seven Samurai.  Mula meminati Ayumi Hamasaki dengan lagu-lagunya yang segar dan tidak lupa pada lagu evergreen Ribaibaru nyanyian Mayumi Itsuwa.

Kehidupan keluarga Maharaja Jepun turut mendapat liputan rakyat Malaysia. Walapun tidak semasyhur Puteri Diana tetapi kehidupan Puteri Masako, seorang diplomat  yang berkahwin dengan Putera Naruhito menarik minatku dan tekanan yang dihadapi untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan protokol keluarga Diraja . Polemik yang melanda keluarga Maharaja  Akihito dan Michiko apabila Masako melahirkan waris perempuan dan bukannya lelaki turut mendapat liputan.

Gempa bumi berukuran 9 skala Ricter dan Tsunami setingi 10 meter tinggi melanda Jepun Jumaat lepas mengejutkan kita semua. Di bandar Minamisanriku saja, hampir separuh populasinya hilang dan sekurang-kurangnya 2,000 mayat ditemui terdampar di pantai setelah Tsunami melanda. Kini Japan berhadapan pula dengan krisis reaktor nucklernya yang bocor, impak dari gempa bumi dan Tsunami.

Kerosakan yang amat teruk melanda the most developed counry in Asia and the cost of the disaster estimated at RM517 billion .

For all the devastation, the Japanese remain civilised. orderly and stoic people, apologising for needing help and taking up rescuers’ time.

No one should be left alone in the time of great suffering., least of all Japan. As the largest contributor, Japan has helped many countries including our country with low interest loan, grants and techbical cooperation. Though we are not rich, we as ordinary Malaysians should dig into our pocket and heart offering funds and prayers.

I pray that the Japanese will be strong in facing this difficult time.  And for Yoshitaka and friends, Susumu Iwata,  Mrs Abe, Princess Masako, Ambassador Horie,  the friendly waiters and waiteresses at Jaws, Japanese surfers in Bali and the Kabuki lady who represent the essence of Japan,  wherever you are my friends, I pray for your safety.

09. Kegilaan iPad 2

Kegilaan masyarakat dunia terhadap produk Ipad 2 melanda bukan sahaja di Amerika tetapi juga seluruh dunia termasuk Kuala Lumpur.Sejak diperkenalkan tahun lepas, Ipad menjadi fenomena di seluruh dunia. 

Ipad2 yang diumumkan 2 Mac lepas oleh Apple di San Francisco membuatkan orang ramai sudah tidak sabar-sabar untuk menanti kedatangan Ipad 2 di pasaran 25 Mac ini di negara-negara tertentu tetapi di KL belum diputuskan lagi bila.

Lebih banyak Ipad versi pertama telah dijual minggu lepas berikutan pengumuman Apple menurukan RM400 off untuk semua model Ipad yang sedia ada.

Enjin carian internet pula  mencatatkan Ipad2 sebagai antara bahan yang tertinggi dicari menerusi internet.

Ada kawan Fazz yang  baaru saja  membeli Ipad versi wifi dan 3G setelah menjual Ipas versi wifinya sahaja beberapa bulan lepas, kini dia sibuk nak menjual Ipadnya untuk mendapatkan Ipad2.Rata-rata masyarakat menunggu Ipad2 yang lebih powerful dan tindakan

Apple memberikan diskaun untuk Ipad baru versi lama membuatkan ramai mampu miliki Ipad. Tak kurang juga yang  beli secondhand Ipad yang dijual dengan  harga yang lebih murah lagi.

Ini tak termasuk lagi jenama-jenama lain yang tidak mahu ketinggalan mengeluarkan tablet computer masing-masing to capture the market.

Begitulah kegillaan masyarkat dunia terhadap produk Ipad.

Apa Istimewanya Ipad 2?

Secara keseluruhannya, pembangunan peranti IPad 2 memberi fokus kepada pelaksanaan aktiviti pengkomputeran utama seperti pelayaran web, akses e-mel serta operasi multimedia untuk pengurusan foto, video, muzik, permainan video dan buku elektronik (e-book).

Binaan reka bentuk luar iPad 2 mempunyai 33 peratus lebih nipis dan 15 peratus lebih ringan berbanding versi pertamanya.

Namun, daripada segi paparan, ia masih mengekalkan implementasi skrin LCD 9.7 inci dengan sokongan lampu belakang LED.

Operasi IPad 2 dipacu oleh sistem pemproses A5 berkembar yang menawarkan prestasi lebih pantas dan grafik makin menyerlah.

Tidak cukup dengan itu, ia turut dilengkapi kamera VGA hadapan dan belakang bagi menyokong operasi panggilan video serta rakaman video definisi tinggi (HD) 720p.

Dengan keupayaan itu juga, pengguna kini boleh melakukan panggilan FaceTime kepada semua rangkaian peranti seperti iPhone 4, iPod Touch, dan Mac.

Menerusi aplikasi Photo Booth pula, pengguna berpeluang mengedit foto yang telah di ambil dengan memasukkan kesan-kesan visual yang menarik.

iPad 2 dipacu oleh sistem operasi iOS 4.3 versi terkini yang menampilkan aplikasi-aplikasi seperti pelayar Safari Mobile, iTunes Home Sharing dan AirPlay.

Selain itu, pengguna turut ditawarkan dengan aplikasi iMovie untuk menyunting video serta Hotspot untuk tujuan perkongsian sambungan data selular bersama iPhone 4 menerusi Wi-Fi.

Spesifikasi lainnya adalah seperti perisian Gyro untuk permainan video, akses pelayaran HSUPA dan paparan kandungan televisyen HD melalui sambungan adaptor.

Sesuatu yang menarik, iPad 2 ini didatangkan bersama penutup pintar di bahagian hadapannya yang bertindak sebagai penyokong bahagian badan secara menegak ketika peranti digunakan untuk menaip atau menonton video.

Penutup pintar itu juga dibangunkan dengan rekaan engsel magnetik unik supaya mudah di pasang dan ditanggalkan selain dilengkapi lapisan gentian mikro bagi menjamin kebersihan permukaan skrin.

Ia turut berperanan mengaktifkan peranti secara automatik apabila ia dibuka dan menamatkan operasi sebaik ditutup.

Setakat ini, iPad 2 boleh menyokong lebih 350,000 aplikasi daripada App Store dan 65,000 aplikasi yang dibangunkan oleh individu atau syarikat daripada 20 kategori.

Ia termasuk permainan video, bisnes, berita, sukan, kesihatan dan pelancongan.

Menerusi aplikasi iTunes Store pula, pengguna iPad 2 berpeluang mengakses paparan kandungan muzik, televisyen dan filem secara dalam talian.

Walaupun iPad 2 mampu menyokong pelbagai perisian dan aplikasi, namun ia mempunyai ketahanan jangka hayat bateri sehingga 10 jam.

Ipad tidak menggunakan papan kekunci  (unless u beli external papan kekunci lar) tetpai menggunakkan skrin sesentuh.  Jika anda risau tentang jari jemari anda yang baru di ‘manucurekan itu, berhenti risau keraana kini dah ada stylus untuk Ipad agar anda tidak perlu menyentuh skrin dengan jari anda. Boxwave  Capacitive Stylus kini berada di pasaran

06. Special Message on March 11, 2011

In the wake of the eartquake and Tsunami that hit Japan hours ago,  would like to express my deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences to Japan and its people and especially to those who have lost family and friends.

Natural calamities remind us that we are living on the same earth and our humanity brings us together regardless of our race religion and color. Please donate money to your local reputable aid group.

Japan needs our help. What hit Japan is heartbreaking. I sincerely hope that with solidarity of the world,  the  people of Japan will be able to overcome this nightmare

05. Coming Home To Say Goodbye

When I first heard the death of a friend. I was shocked. he was young and healthy,  and I did not expect to receive this news about his untimely death. His housemate told me that after his migraine attacks were unberable,  he wanted to be taken home to his hometown.

A home where he grew up, a home where he spent his innocent age before he left home to venture life and progressed.

It was as if he knew he was not going to make it and wanted to spend his final days at home.  He was coming home to die,  to be surrounded by familiar faces and amicable environment before he was laid to rest in peace.

The same thing happened to my late grandfather 23 years ago.  He was hospitalised and did not show any sign of recovering and he had had it in the hospital. He wanted to rest at home and we brought him home and he passed on a few days later.

When my grandmother was sick, she was taken care by my aunty at my aunty’s house.  A few days before she passed away, she wanted to be taken home,  to the same house where my grandfather had passed away.

No matter how far we go, no matter how free it seemed to be away from home, when the time comes to say goodbye, our final stopover will be at home. A home where we cherish our love, remembering our childhood memories and finding peace with the sweet-sour relationship with lthe oved ones.

Emak and Abah ( I called my grandfather and grandmother as I was living in a extended family environment) wanted to be home to reminisce their memory for one last time before their final journey. Not many people have the opportunit of coming home to say goodbye.  Some will die in road accidents or in an operating theatre but eventually the body would taken home.

PS: After 16 years of being away from home  I recently came home to recollect and to relive my own memories of this home and family,  besides mending my broken spirit. I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy.

04. Farewell To A Misunderstood Friend

2 Mac 2011 (8.10 am) - Apabila Sham memberitahu aku bahawa Azrul telah meninggal dunia, aku kaget, tergamam dan terkejut. Masa kan Azrul yang masih muda dan sihat itu telah meninggal dunia. Aku tanyakan punca kematian Azrul tetapi Sham sendiri pun kurang pasti, itu pun ada orang lain yang mengkhabarkan padanya pagi itu.

Aku tidak puashati terus menelefon nombor Azrul mengharapkan Azrul yang menjawab dan menghentikan gurauan yang keterlaluan ini. Panggilan aku disambut oleh teman serumah Azrul dan dia memberitahu Azrul sudah tiada lagi dan dia telah menceritakan apa yang telah berlaku. So it is true that he has passed away.

 November 2008 - aku masih ingat lagi apabila Azrul telah meminjamkan kereta yang baru beberapa bulan dibelinya bagi memudahkan aku untuk bergerak. Aku baru saja menjual kereta ku untuk membeli kereta baru tetapi terpaksa menunggu selama 4 bulan untuk menerima kereta baru kerana tempahan yang terlalu tinggi terhadap model kereta tersebut.

Aku amat berterima kasih dengan Azrul. Tak perlu lah aku bersusah payah turun naik teksi berulang alik dari rumah ke pejabat. Nak naik bas or LRT rasenya dah berzaman aku tak berbuat demikian.

Januari 2009 - banyak pihak yang dapat tahu Azrul meminjamkan keretanya pada aku dan dia sanggup menunggang motosikal ke pejabat. Aku mula terdengar cerita-cerita yang kurang enak pasal Azrul.

1 Februari 2009 - Aku pulangkan keretanya dan mula menjauhkan diri daripada Azrul tanpa memberitahu sebabnya. Itu merupakan kali terakhir aku berjumpa dengan Azrul.

2 Januari 2011 - Entah mengapa aku teringat akan Azrul. Aku mula menghubungi Azrul untuk bertanyakan khabar. Dengan kondisi ku yang tidak berapa sihat elok rasanya aku mengnautkan kembali persahabatan kami yang terputus begitu saja. Mujur dia masih menggunakan nombor yang sama. Kami berbual dan aku minta maaf atas perbuatan aku dan kami saling bermaafan. Sejak hari tu kami ada juga bertukar-tukat mesej berteks.

5 Januari 2011 - Ada juga beberapa kali kami ajak lepak sama tetapi Azrul menolak kerana kurang sihat. Katanya sakit kepalanya kian menjadi-jadi sejak kebelakangan ini. Malaha pada hari berkenaan di cuti sakit. Aku suruh dia berehat je, banyak masa lagi bole lepak sama, kata ku padanya.

12 Januari 2011 - Azrul menelefon dan kami berbual, I could sensed there was something he wanted to ask, He wanted to know why did I distance myself from him and cut off the friendship. I told him about what I have heard about him and I did not want him to have bad influences on me.

He told me that he was always misunderstood. He said deserved to clear his name and he should be given a chance. Most of the time he was not given a chance by many including me.

I said …at that time, the hearsay about him was more than enough for me to judge him and he should own up to it. He was silent and I knew he was devastated with my explanation. I apologized to him of being harsh.
Who am I to judge him? And to judge him base on what others have told me? That was totally unacceptable! How could I do that to him? I was mean.

When I distant myself from him, I didn’t know what I was doing, I thought I wanted to protect myself. I wish that I had someone that would smacked me on the head and told me that was wrong for me  to do to a friend. Now it is too late. I have hurt his feelings.

He was such a good and helpful friend to me.  All the gossip I heard about him of being moody, bad tempered, wild, full of anger and hatrance,  fight picker, act like a wet blanket were not true or at least he did not show me his darker side when were were friends.

1 Mac 2011 (9.40pm) – Azrul telah kembali ke rahmatullah akibat tumor di otaknya yang telah pecah dan melumpuhkan sistem sarafnya. Semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat. Al-Fatihah…

PS: I always have the opportunity of getting to know a lot of people …not just good but great people and they were always kind to me and most of the time I screwed it up due to my insecurity.

03. Kek Keju, Joanne dan Kain Pelikat

Petang itu, ketika melawat Che Lan, Zam dan Ajeeb (setelah beberapa minggu pindah keluar), aku singgah ke rumah jiran sebelah, Joanne dan memberikan beberapa kek cawan berperisa vanilla, cokelat dan keju krim. Joanne kelihatan sungguh gembira dan bertanyakan khabarku. Setelah berbual, aku kembali ke rumah kawan-kawan dan menonton TV.  Beberapa minit kemudian, Joanne muncul dan menempah sebiji kek keju yang menjadi kegemaran anak lelakinya setelah bertanyakan harga. Aku janjikan tempahan Kek Kejunya akan dihantar pada hari Sabtu.

Ketika baru-baru menumpang di rumah Che Lan, aku sering bertembung dengan Joanne di dalam lif dan bertegur sapa. Sejak itu Joanne sering singgah ke rumah dan berbual dengan aku, Che Lan, zam dam Ajeeb. Setelah kematian suaminya Joanne, 50an,  die berhijrah ke Kuala Lumpur dari negara asalnya Korea Selatan bersama anak bongsunya setelah tertarik dengan kos sara hidup yang lebih rendah berbanding di Daewoo dan meninggalkan dua anak perempuan yang telah dewasa di sana. Di Daewoo, Joanne mempunyai beberapa hartanah termasuk bangunan komersil.

Menurut Zam, Joanne ibarat ketua tingkat di kondo itu kerana sikapnya yang peramah dan prihatin dengan penghuni di tingkat 14 itu. Hampir seleuruh penghuni di tingkat itu rapat dengan Joanne.

Aku sering minum petang dengan Joanne di meja luar rumah dan Joanne sangat tertarik pelbagai budaya di Malaysia.  Kadang-kadang dia merasa pelik melihat aku memakai kain pelikat, aku jelaskan padanya tentang kain pelikat dan cara pemakaian oleh orang lelaki sementara kain batik lebih sesuai untuk wanita.

Ketika perpindah keluar setelah beberapa bulan menumpang di rumah Che Lan, aku mengucapkan selamat timggal kepada Joanne. Aku salam Joanne dan sambil menepuk nepuk bahu ku beberapa kali, die berharap aku akan melawatnya. I told her I would visit her, Che Lan, Zam and Ajeeb from time to time.

Walaupun berlainan agama, bangsa dan ideologi dan bahasa, tetapi disebabkan semangat kejiranan yang tinggi, segala perbezaan diketepikan oleh penghuni penghuni disitu, penghuni-pnghuni di kondo tersebut antaranya terdiri daripada kalangan expatriate dari Korea Selatan, Jepun, Iran, Filipina, Indonesia selain beberapa personaliti tempatan.

Selalunya apabila masuk ke dalam lif aku sering disapa dengan ucapan selamat pagi atau petang oleh mereka yang telah sedia ada di dalam lif  walaupun kami tidak mengenali antara satu sam lain dan bertanya tingkat destinasiku sambil mereka bantu menekan butang tingkat lif. Begitulah keadaannya di situ.

02. Dampingi Yang Disayangi

Walaupun telah separuh perjalananku ke pejabat, aku berpatah balik menuju ke destinasi baru. Entah mengapa pagi tu, rindu rasa padanya membuak-membuak setelah sekian lama tidak bertemu. Aku memberhentikan kereta di depan pintu pagar dan mengambil masa beberapa minit untuk menghela nafas panjang beberapa kali. Setelah itu, aku melangkah ke luar dan menolak pintu pagar yang tidak berkunci itu.

Aku beri salam dan menyapanya, terus aku berbicara dengannya. Aku mohon maaf padanya kerana telah lama tidak menziarah. Aku beritahu Nenda ku betapa aku terkilan Nenda tidak menghantarku ke airport ketika aku hendak melanjutkan pelajaran ke Australia beberapa tahun lalu. Pengajian ku ke Australia merupakan kali pertama aku berpisah dengan Nenda tetapi hampir setaip hari aku menelefonnya dan berbual serta bertanya khabar. Teringat aku ketika aku ingin pulang ke Kuala Lumpur cuti semester itu dan aku bertanyakan padanya jika Nenda mahu cenderahati dari tanah Kanggaru itu. Ringkas sahaja jawapannya, Tiada hadiah yang lebih berharga dan membuatkannya gembira melainkan aku membawa pulang segulung ijazah.

Kini, setelah aku berjaya menggenggam ijazah yang diidamkan, Nenda sudah tiada lagi untuk bersama meraikan kejayaanku. Nenda telah pulang ke rahmatullah pada 30 Jun 2003, Lima bulan setelah aku berada di Australia. (Walaupun sempat pulang ke KL ketika Nenda sakit tenat tetapi aku tetap tidak dapat bersamanya ketika Nenda menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir, Terkilan rasanya tidak berada di sisi Nenda.) Sebelum berlalu pergi, aku doakan kesejahteraan Nenda di sana dan membaca Al-Fatihah semoga roh Nenda dicucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan di kalangan mukmin yang soleh.

Daun-Daun kering yang berselerakan di atas pusara Nneda, aku bersihkan. I still couldn’t come to term with her demise. It is difficult and painful. It left a large hole in my heart. I spent most of my lifetime with her. She was not just my grandmother … she was my father, my mother and my best friend. I was her favourite grandchild. Al-Fatihah buat Nenda…

Kadang-kala, apabila orang yang kita sayangi sentiasa berada di sisi kita, we tend to take their presence for granted. Mungkin persekitaran dan budaya kita menyebabkan kita tidak betah meluahkan rasa sayang kita secara terbuka terhadap, ayah, ibu, datuk, nenek, abang, kakak dan adik serta ahli keluarga yang lain.

01. Allah dah Janjikan, Takde Penyakit kat Dunia Ni yang Takde Penawar

Petang tu ketika sibuk membungkus tempahan cupcake Cik Lan, Cik Lan order 4 vanilla cupcake in individual casing and a gift box of six vanilla and choc cupcakes. I received a phone call from Shai ( who is Zam’s gfriend. and Zam is Cik Lan’s housemate). Shai said she wanted to see me to pass something to me. I told her I would be at Zam’s place petang tu untk hantar tempahan cupcake. Sempat jugak promote cupcake kat Shai dan dia pun order dua choc cupcake, satu vanilla dan satu creamcheese. I felt bad as I couldn’t meet Shay on time that aftenoon due to the heavy traffic.

Rupanya Shai nak sampaikan air zamzam for me to cure my illness. Air zamzam tu diberikan oleh Zara ( Ajeeb’s friend; ajeeb is also Cik Lan’s housemate). Tapi Shai meninggalkan botol Air zamzam di rumah Zam dan Shai terus pulang. That night, I was exchanging text messages with Shai and I was touched by one of her text messages yang berbunyi … ” Shai Tabik spring kat Fuzz, Fuzz kuat semangat…Allah dah janji kan, takde penyakit kat dunia yang takde penawar … Assamulaikum fuzz…”, bagitulah bunyi text message Shy.

Among the things that keep me strong and keep me going is the support that I received from my family and friends. No matter what, when we are at our lowest point in lifem our friends and family are the core of our inner strength. Thank you guys for always being there for me.